Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, the environmental effect of stopping air travel has become one of the most debated issues in modern society. Some people argue that avoiding flying every year or stop flying altogether significantly beneficial for the environement, others contend that there is an issue with business and individual passengers. This essay will argue that environmental benefits outweigh the disadvantages of the personal and business traveling.

To begin with that, business and individual travelling have become key paramount event of the persent corporate and indiviudal world. Some people have to visit business meeting from one country to another, which leads to environmental damage due to air pollution, due to thousands of airelines fly daily. Meanwhile, some companies discourage the air travelling, and find the alternative way to communicate with the clients, such as onlie meeting. This is not only save planet but also save the money for traveling.

The most important thing is that climate change has alarmed many issues in society. It is believed that airline has done significant damage to atmostphere. As a result, many regions are facing unusual weather conditions, droughts, flooding, and massive distructions for people day-to-day lives. For instance, research has found that air traveling has enormously responsible for damage Ozone layers, leading to direct sunlight comes to the atmostphere, harming to people skin. This directly cause to the skin cancers. Therefore, reducing air travels give more benefits for the people lives, it decreases the carbon footprins, which is one of the essential things to do as a responsible passenger. As much as possible if people can reduce the traveling, they can contribue to environment protection.

In conclusion, This essay has argued that environmental benefits outweigh the drawbacks of the individuals and businesses. The key reasons supporting this view are reduce the carbon footorint, and discourage the climate change.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have identified the environmental benefits and acknowledged the disadvantages for businesses and individuals. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention that businesses can use online meetings, this point could be expanded with more specific examples of how this impacts productivity or global connectivity. The conclusion is a bit abrupt and merely restates the introduction without synthesising the main points effectively. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph provides a deeper analysis of the trade-offs involved rather than just listing general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'To begin with', 'Meanwhile', and 'In conclusion', to link your thoughts. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'To begin with that'. Additionally, some sentences within paragraphs feel disconnected, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next will help improve the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, but there are several spelling errors ('environement', 'persent', 'indiviudal', 'airelines', 'atmostphere', 'distructions', 'footprins', 'contribue') and some awkward collocations ('key paramount event', 'alarmed many issues'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. To improve, focus on mastering the spelling of common academic terms and pay closer attention to word choice to ensure your vocabulary sounds more natural and precise in an academic context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is a positive step. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('airline has done', 'reducing air travels give'), article usage ('the ozone layers'), and sentence fragments ('This is not only save planet but also save the money'). These errors are noticeable and occasionally affect the clarity of your arguments. To progress, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly regarding verb forms and pluralisation, and work on constructing more complex sentences with greater precision.

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