Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.
Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In this modern era, many people have decided to decrease the number of times they fly or to stop flying altogether. This essay will dwells on the statement and validate that environment benefits of development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses
On the one hand, technology is increasing rapidly nowadays and people are travelling to many countries for many purpose which are personal or for other business purposes. mostly individuals travels on tour packages to many other countries, this is increasing day by day and consuming gallons of fuels everyday and many aircrafts has pressure on the pilot to drive it in any climate which leads to accidents. For example, in India, news have been reported that conservation of fuels economy has been increased by the lees number of passengers in recent months.
On the other hand, numerous individuals are depended on air transportation to travel from countries to countries for personal and business needs such as transportation of goods and resources for the development of the company, people who migrate to other countries may need to return to their home nation has only a single mode of transportation which is through air. For instance, numerous magazines has printed out that due to limited number of passengers who travel through air has caused the restriction to departure of aircrafts due to insufficient passengers
To conclude some people have decided to reduce the number of time they fly every year this leads to many problems to the peoples who immigrate to numerous countries for job because of the decrease in the number of passengers.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt but lacks depth in its analysis. While you state your position in the introduction, the arguments provided are somewhat repetitive and lack specific, logical development. For instance, the point about 'news reported in India' is vague and does not clearly link to the environmental benefits versus the disadvantages for businesses. The conclusion does not effectively summarise the arguments or restate the position clearly, as it focuses only on the negative impact on immigrants. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and provides a well-reasoned explanation supported by a concrete, relevant example.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression of ideas is often hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of clear cohesive devices. Transitions like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are used, but the internal flow within paragraphs is disjointed. For example, the transition from discussing fuel consumption to pilot pressure is abrupt. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the connection between sentences is often mechanical rather than fluid. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring each sentence builds logically on the previous one would improve the coherence significantly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There is a reliance on basic terms, and some word choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as 'dwells on the statement' or 'conservation of fuels economy'. Additionally, there are minor errors in collocation, such as 'news have been reported'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary related to the environment and economics, and pay closer attention to word forms and collocations to ensure your writing sounds more natural and precise.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'many aircrafts has pressure', 'numerous magazines has printed out') and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'mostly individuals travels'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring subject-verb agreement would be a highly effective way to improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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