Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

IT IS OFTEN ARGUED THAT AIR VEHICLES HAVE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES. WHILE SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT IT IS MORE CONVINENT AND TIME SAVING THINGS. I PERSONALLY BELIEVE THAT ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH DISADVANTAGES. DETAIL EXPLANATIONS ARE FURTHER.

OUT OF ALL THE ARGUMENTS, THE FOREMOST ONE TO SUPPORT IS THAT THE AIR AND NOISE POLLUTION ARE INCREASED DAY BY DAY. AND THE MAIN REASON IS USAGE OF AIR TRANSPOTATIONS. FUEL USE IN THAT IS CAROSSINE AND IT STARTS CHEMICAL REACTION MIXING WITH AIR. SO THAT SO MANY PEOPLE STARTED HEALTH ISSUES SUCH AS ASTHAMA, COLESTROL AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSUR. SOME CHILDREN CAN NOT TAKE BREATH PROPERLY SO IT TAKES START PLACE OF ANXIETY TOO.

MOREOVER, SOME PEOPLE USE TRANSPOTATION REGULARLY AND FOR THAT THEY HABITUATED WITH LAVISH LIFE AND THEIR KIDS ALSO GONNA SPOIL. THEY DO NOT HAVE KNOWLEDGE ABOUT POLLUTION AND ITS EFFECTS. THEIR CHILDREN CAN NOT ADOPT NORMAL ATMOSPHER. FOR EXAMPLE OF THAT WE SAW THAT BUSINESSMAN USE AIRPLANE BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO DEAL IN DIFFERENT STATES AND COUNTRY.ALSO, AIRLINES PROVIDES DIFFERENT DISCOUNT TO ATTRACT PEOPLE.

HOWEVER, IT IS EASY AND TIME SAVING THING. WE CAN EASSLY REACH AT OUR DESTINATION. IN ADDITION PEOPLE GET WARM WELCOME FROM CREW MEMBERS BUT IT HAS MORE DRAWBACKS THAN ADVANTAGES.

IN CONCLUSION, I BELIEVE THAT DEVOTED TO OUR ROOTS IS THE BEST OPTION FOR US AS WELL AS FUTURE PRESEPCTIVE.IT IS NOT LATE NOW TO IDENTFY WHICH IS BETTER FOR US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you attempt to address the prompt, the arguments are underdeveloped and lack depth. For instance, the link between air travel and health issues like 'cholesterol' is scientifically tenuous and not well-explained. The position is stated, but the discussion of the disadvantages for individuals and businesses is superficial and lacks specific, relevant examples. To improve, you must expand your arguments with logical reasoning and ensure you meet the minimum length requirement to allow for a full exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. Transitions between ideas are often abrupt or missing, such as the sudden shift from health issues to the habits of businessmen. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical (e.g., 'Out of all the arguments', 'Moreover', 'In conclusion'). The internal structure of paragraphs is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly supports your main argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is basic and often inaccurate, which hinders the clarity of your message. There are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'convinent', 'transpotation', 'carossine', 'asthama', 'colestrol', 'pressur', 'atmospher', 'presepctive') and word choice issues (e.g., 'air vehicles' instead of 'air travel', 'take start place of anxiety'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas effectively. You should focus on learning the correct spelling of common academic terms and practice using collocations, such as 'environmental impact' or 'economic implications', rather than relying on simple, repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'airlines provides'), sentence fragments (e.g., 'Detail explanations are further'), and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'time saving things'). The range of sentence structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. Complex structures are rarely attempted and, when they are, they often contain errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb tenses and pluralization, before attempting more complex grammatical structures. Proofreading for basic punctuation and capitalization is also essential.

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