Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The need and importances of of an individuals and businessmen over the time they fly every year or to stop flying together are depends on their situation and needs while people think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for the individuals and businesses are going to discuss in the coming paragraphs.

However when we see the benefits of the environmental issues due to excessive use of the air transport from one country to another for the purpose of the business or something else then the economy of that country boost due to tourism and their local people also get profit. when we compare the individuals and businessmen from the travelling pattern the businessmen has lot of things to do like doing the investment and make money and travel so they need this for betterment of business and make the monopoly good ,they can travel very easily ,while on the other hand the individuals are far away from this sometimes they cannot even afford the price of the ticket to travel from one country to another that shows aslo him the insurity of far away from home

The disadvantages of the environmental development due to extra use of air transport causes the

carbon emission in our ozone that effects the lives and our agricultural field from growing seeds and crops which also effects the GDP of that country examples the acidic rain , over flooding ,so the development of the country go slow.

In conclusion i believed the environmental benefits of the development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the prompt but struggles with clarity and focus. While you mention both environmental benefits and the needs of businesses/individuals, the arguments are underdeveloped and often confusing. For instance, the link between air travel, tourism, and the economy is mentioned, but the connection to the prompt's core question—whether environmental benefits outweigh the disadvantages—is not clearly articulated. The position is stated in the introduction and conclusion, but the supporting body paragraphs lack logical development and specific, relevant examples. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on one clear idea that directly supports your thesis, providing concrete evidence rather than general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a clear structure. While there are paragraph breaks, the progression of ideas is disjointed. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as the awkward transition 'when we compare the individuals and businessmen from the travelling pattern'. The referencing is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. To improve, use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and employ a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') to connect your ideas logically. Ensure that each sentence flows naturally into the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is quite limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'importances of of an individuals', 'make the monopoly good', and 'insurity of far away from home'. These errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding. You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle to express complex ideas precisely. To reach a higher band, focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to the environment and business, and work on using more precise academic vocabulary instead of general, informal phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of your writing. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'are depends on', 'businessmen has'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, which makes them difficult to parse. You rely mostly on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and using correct punctuation. Proofreading for common errors like missing articles or incorrect verb forms will significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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