Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.
Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
IN THE EVER EVOLVING WORLD, DEDUCTION IN TRAVELING BY TAKING FLIGHT IS HAPPEND DAY BY DAY WHICH DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY HELP TO THE ENVIRONMENT. THE DRAWBACKS ARE MORE AS COMPARE FOR PEOPLE AND THIR BUSINES WHICH ARE MENTION BELOW THE PARAGRAPH.
TO COMMENCE WITH, THESE DAYS PEOPLE LOVE TO TRAVEL ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER PLACE BY PLANE BUT THE MAIN THINGS WHICH AFFECT MOST IS ITS NOT ONLY AFFECT THEIR FINANCIAL CONDITION BUT ALSO CAUTION OF THE ENVIRONMENT. THE BEST EXAMPLE OF THIS STATMENT IS, IF RAHUL AND THEIR FAMILY TRAVEL A LOT BY PLANE THEN THE PLANE PRODUCE MORE UNNECESSARY THING IN THE ENVIRONMENT. WHIS IS CREATS THE AIR POLUTION.
MOREOVER, NOWADAYS CITIZEN ARE THINKING THAT THEY ARE TRYING TO TRAVEL SOLO SO THIS IS BENEFICIAL FOR THEM AND HELPS THEM TOO. FOR INSTANCE, IF HARDIK WORKING IN ANOTHE PLACE OR COUNTRY OR HE HAS A BUSINESS IN ANOTHER LOCATION. THEN HE TRAVEL BY PLANE AND HANDLE THEIR WORK OR BUSSINES WITHOUT ANY TENSION. THIS STEPS HELP THEM TO SAVE THIER MONET AS WELL AS EASIEST WAY TO HANDEL THIER BUSINESS TOO,
IN CONCLUSION, THERE ARE MANY DISADVANTAGES AFFECT TO THE PEOPLE WHO TRAVEL A LOT AND ITS NOT GOOD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT TOO.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the prompt asks for a comparison between environmental benefits and the disadvantages for individuals and businesses, the response is underdeveloped and lacks a clear, sustained position. The arguments provided are superficial and lack the necessary depth or relevant examples to fully address the complexity of the topic. The conclusion is also very brief and does not effectively summarise the main points. Consequently, the response only partially addresses the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression of ideas is weak. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inappropriate, such as 'TO COMMENCE WITH' and 'MOREOVER', which do not effectively link the ideas presented. Referencing is often unclear, and the transition between the environmental impact and the personal/business impact is disjointed. The overall structure is simplistic, and the lack of sufficient content makes it difficult to follow a coherent argument throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic words like 'travel', 'plane', and 'business'. There are frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'HAPPEND', 'THIR', 'MONET', and 'HANDEL', which occasionally impede the reader's understanding. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas or demonstrate any awareness of style or collocation. The student struggles to use precise terminology related to the topic of environmental impact or economic consequences.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentence structures with frequent errors. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence construction (e.g., 'THE PLANE PRODUCE MORE UNNECESSARY THING'). Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on sentences and incorrect comma usage. While the meaning is generally discernible, the high frequency of errors throughout the text makes it difficult to read and indicates a lack of control over basic grammatical structures.
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