Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many people are deciding to reduce the number of times they fly yearly or to quit flying altogether. This essay will discuss my views and opinion in this topic.

Firstly, flying has become one of the easiest way for transportation. It makes our journey easier by taking us to our destination as soon as possible. It helps many people who have urgent works in another state or country. Many businessmen travel from airplanes to attend their meeting. For instance, if businessmen couldn't connect with one another then how will the business expand? Many big companies and industries import and export things that are essential for them. It helps in economic development of the country.

Although travelling in airplanes are fast and easy, they are very expensive to be afforded by average earning peoples.

Nevertheless, they are also risky and affect the environment rapidly. The fuel burnt by the aircrafts are the main factors which causes environment pollution. It emits many harmful gases like CO2, carbon monoxide and so on. The aircrafts of Nepal are very old and are very risky to be operated for commercial purposes. Therefore, many dangerous incidents like plane crashing, malfunctioning and so on occur daily in Nepal.

In conclusion, I think that travelling in aircrafts are more easier and faster. New technologies should be invented to reduce the harmful gases coming out of the aircrafts. They should be checked and serviced properly before and after flying to prevent drastic incidents. It plays an important role in increasing diplomatic relations with other countries and also helps in making trading and shopping easier and faster.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but lacks a clear, consistent position. While you mention the benefits and disadvantages, the essay does not explicitly state whether the environmental benefits outweigh the drawbacks, which is a requirement for a higher band. The arguments are somewhat repetitive and rely on generalisations. For example, the focus on Nepal's aviation safety is a specific example, but it does not directly address the core tension between environmental impact and economic necessity. To improve, ensure your thesis is clear in the introduction and that each body paragraph directly supports your stance with balanced, well-developed arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is sometimes disjointed. You use some cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Although', and 'In conclusion', but these are quite basic. The transition between the economic benefits of flying and the environmental risks is abrupt. Additionally, the final paragraph introduces new suggestions (technological innovation) rather than summarising the main arguments presented in the body, which weakens the overall coherence. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would improve the flow significantly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on simple phrases like 'easiest way for transportation' and 'very expensive'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'average earning peoples' (should be 'people') and 'travelling in airplanes are' (subject-verb agreement error). To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary related to the environment and economics, such as 'carbon footprint', 'sustainable travel', or 'economic integration', and ensure you use words in their correct context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement and pluralisation. For instance, 'travelling in airplanes are' should be 'is', and 'aircrafts' is incorrect as 'aircraft' is the standard plural form. You use some complex structures, but they are often marred by these errors. The sentence 'The fuel burnt by the aircrafts are the main factors which causes environment pollution' contains multiple errors in agreement. Focusing on basic accuracy and proofreading for common mistakes like plural forms and verb agreement will help improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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