Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.
Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Some individuals have decided to decrease the number of times they travel by air every year of stop flying permanently. This essay agrees that the disadvantages for people and businesses are greater than the environmental benefits of this development.
I strongly believe that the decision to reduce the number of times that people travel by air or stop flying altogether is more disadvantageous for individuals and businesses compared to the environmental benefits. This decision will not be beneficial for business owners that are involved in importation because they won’t be able to fly out and buy goods for selling . Also, people earn money and maintain a standard of living from the flying out business. However, if people don’t patronize the flying out business, no profit will be made and this is not beneficial for both them and the business. There will be no increase in profit and productivity will decline over the years as a result of people’s decision to either stop flying by air or reduce the number of times they fly.
Environmental benefits is also important because flying to different places allow people to explore different parts of the world. It gives them an opportunity to experience different cultures and create memories. People are able to learn new things from other parts of the world. For example, individuals travel to china every summer to experience the culture and partake in the festivals during the summer season.
In conclusion, although flying out has different environmental benefits such as experiencing other people’s culture. However, I believe that if people decide to reduce the number of times they travel or stop traveling, it outweighs the development of the environmental benefits.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt, but the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you clearly state your position, the argument regarding the 'disadvantages' for businesses is somewhat repetitive and lacks specific, concrete examples. Furthermore, the third paragraph is confusing; you label it 'Environmental benefits' but then discuss cultural exploration, which is not an environmental benefit. This indicates a misunderstanding of the prompt's core concepts. To reach a higher band, ensure that every point made directly supports your stated position and that your arguments are logically extended with relevant evidence rather than general statements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive feature. However, the logical progression is weak. The transition between the second and third paragraphs is abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or misused. For example, in the conclusion, you use 'although' and 'however' in the same sentence, which creates a grammatical and logical error. The referencing is also occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning throughout the text. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly improve the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on repetitive phrases such as 'flying out business' and 'reduce the number of times'. There is also a lack of topic-specific vocabulary related to environmental science or economic impacts. Some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'partake in the festivals'. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and avoid repeating the same phrases. Expanding your range to include more academic terminology would help convey your ideas with greater clarity and impact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. For instance, 'Environmental benefits is also important' shows a subject-verb agreement error. You also have issues with sentence fragments and run-on sentences, particularly in the conclusion. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed accurately will help you achieve a higher band in this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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