Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.
Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Transportation is a means to move from one place to the another for reasons like individual interest, business, vacation, education. It can be taken in any form, the most convenient way if affordable is through air as a medium. Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. The advantages and disadvantages regarding it will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, a decision of reducing the number of times people fly every year depends on individual consent and the importance of the work. When we reduce the number of times we fly will have a huge impact on the environment as the main issue that is occurring these days is air pollution, traffic on roads causing AQI to increase which is hazardous to health likewise numerous aircrafts flying due to demand affects it too. Air congestion happens resulting in gases emitted in air leaving the birds species in danger. The number of aircraft reduces then eventually we will have a better environment. Every species of life matters as much as human species does.
In contrast, on the other hand, reducing the number of times we fly can be based on the priority of the work to be done, business meeting is one of the important aspect as it involves the economic development of our country as every individual is contributing to the country's economy. Vacations and exploring the other countries is a important part of our life as we get out of our daily hectic life and get some family time together essential for mental health if affordable. Mental health of individual are being a matter of concern these days. Travelling is therapy that is effective to distract yourself from daily routine.
Overall, it can be concluded that a balanced approach should be taken by reducing the number of times we fly rather than stop flying altogether based on the priorities of our work leading to a better environment and better future, for works that can take other possible transport to travel like train would be a better option but requires time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the environmental benefits and the disadvantages for individuals and businesses. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention air pollution and economic development, the arguments lack depth and specific examples. The position is clear, but the conclusion is slightly repetitive and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more detailed explanation of the 'why' and 'how' behind your claims, rather than listing general points. The balance between the environmental impact and the personal/business disadvantages could be more explicitly weighed to better address the 'outweigh' aspect of the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'To begin with,' 'In contrast,' and 'Overall,' which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are a bit mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'In contrast, on the other hand,' which is redundant. Additionally, some sentences within paragraphs feel slightly disconnected, making the flow less smooth. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will enhance the cohesion of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some relevant terms like 'air congestion,' 'economic development,' and 'hazardous to health.' However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'individual consent' (which doesn't quite fit the context of flying) and 'birds species' (should be 'bird species'). To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing. Expanding your vocabulary to include more sophisticated synonyms for common words will help elevate your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. For example, 'the most convenient way if affordable is through air as a medium' is clunky, and 'Mental health of individual are being a matter of concern' contains subject-verb agreement errors. There are also issues with punctuation and article usage throughout the text. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and refining complex sentence structures to ensure they are error-free.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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