Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the contemporary era, some people tend to use chartered flights which offers them great conveniences to reach from one destination to another destination. While others believe that it is adding more carbon footprints to the environment. This essay will discuss both perspectives before giving my own stance. However, i think environmental benefits of this development overshadow the disadvantages for individuals and businesses.

On the one hand, the number of high worth individuals are increasing day by day. Consequently, they prefer to travel by their own private jets. As they own a lot of businesses around the world they think it is compulsory rather than considering it is a luxury medium of flying. For instance, one of the greatest footballer of all time CR7 owns a gulfstream 'G700' as he has fly one corner to another corner frequently. On the top of that 'Honda' is also making private jet more affordable private for multi digit millionaires. As a result, they are becoming popular especially among millionaires of younger generation.

On the other hand, some people firmly believe that a highly net worth individual can book a business class seat to move place to another place. As a result, it will not surge the carbon footprints to our environment. Researchers recently discovered that our earth layer which protect us from UV's from Sun is fading day by day. Thus, we need to be aware of this problem, so that we can make our environment more sustainable for the future generation. For instance, if Elon Musk choose to fly in a commercial plane instead of private jet he will be responsible for polluting the environment.

To sum up, i would like to state that, this essay contains enough specimens by which i can say that environmental benefits of this development overshadow the disadvantages for individuals and businesses.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt, but the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you clearly state your position, the arguments regarding the environmental benefits versus the disadvantages for individuals and businesses are not fully explored. For instance, you mention that high-net-worth individuals find private jets 'compulsory,' but you do not adequately contrast this with the environmental impact in a way that deepens the argument. The conclusion is also quite repetitive and lacks a summary of the main points discussed. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more balanced analysis of both the environmental gains and the specific economic or personal trade-offs involved.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Consequently' to link your thoughts. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where you refer to 'enough specimens'—this is not the correct term for arguments or evidence. The flow between sentences is generally smooth, but the overall structure could be improved by ensuring that the conclusion synthesizes the arguments rather than simply restating the introduction.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices. For example, 'chartered flights which offers them great conveniences' and 'highly net worth individual' are not natural collocations. You also use 'specimens' incorrectly to refer to your arguments. While you attempt some topic-specific vocabulary like 'carbon footprints' and 'sustainable,' the range is somewhat limited. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoid repeating basic phrases like 'from one destination to another.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('one of the greatest footballer' should be 'footballers'), incorrect article usage ('the earth layer'), and awkward phrasing ('as he has fly one corner to another'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but there are minor errors with capitalization (e.g., 'i' instead of 'I'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and pluralization.

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