Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the modern era, travelling by air route has become a matter of considerable debate. Some people think that to mitigate the number of fly in a year provides a positive impact on our environment. This essay will examine both the perspective before explaining why i believe that reducing them can give us a better and healthy environment.

To begin with, as the way of transportation advances people are more likely to commute by air. One reason is that it save individual's time while travelling within comfort zone. For instance, people who lives miles away from their loved ones can travel by air within few hours despite being expensive it provides effortless travel and in case if any tragedy have been done to your family it makes one accessible to reach in certain time limit. Consequently, people preferred travelling by air more than the other routes.

Furthermore, it is undoubtably that everything that come with ease have some drawbacks. Moreover, one limitation is that excessive use of these transportation affect our surrounding. For example, flight and jet consumed huge amount of fuel meanwhile the turbulence they create can cause noise pollution. However, in excessive use it even create a huge impact on an individual health such as asthmatic person feels low level of oxygen leads to constant anxiety. As a result, excessive use of air transportation should be reduce.

In conclusion, despite having positive effects, the negative one's cannot outweighs the advantages. I personally believe that reducing the commute by air route will be beneficial for individual's health and our surroundings. Nevertheless, acknowledging both side is important to maintain the respectful and balanced approach.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the environmental benefits and the disadvantages of reducing air travel. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention the convenience of air travel and the environmental impact, the arguments lack depth and specific examples related to the 'businesses' aspect of the prompt, which is largely ignored. The position is clear, but the conclusion contradicts the body paragraphs by stating that negative effects 'cannot outweigh' the advantages, which is confusing given your earlier points. To improve, ensure you fully explore both sides of the argument—individuals and businesses—and provide more detailed, logical support for your claims.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. For example, 'In case if any tragedy have been done' and 'Moreover, one limitation is that' do not always connect ideas logically. The transition between paragraphs is somewhat abrupt. While there is an attempt to use linking words like 'Furthermore' and 'Consequently', the flow of ideas is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. Improving the variety and accuracy of your cohesive devices will help create a smoother progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'mitigate the number of fly' (instead of 'reduce the number of flights') and 'comfort zone' (used incorrectly in this context). You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle with collocations, such as 'tragedy have been done' and 'consumed huge amount of fuel'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise academic vocabulary and focus on correct collocations to express your ideas more naturally and effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You frequently make errors in subject-verb agreement ('people who lives', 'everything that come'), verb tense ('tragedy have been done'), and article usage. Some sentences are grammatically fragmented or confusing, such as 'In case if any tragedy have been done to your family it makes one accessible to reach in certain time limit.' These errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and sentence construction before attempting more complex structures.

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