Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued by some people that flights in the sky should be stopped or reduced in number. Although some people might consider it a negative development, I believe it is extremely beneficial. Not only because of air pollution and bird protection, but also because of peace in the sky.

There are multiple benefits associated with stopping planes from flying in the sky. Firstly, clean air is a leading advantage of this development. As if planes stopped flying in the sky, as a result of this activity, there would be no pollution in the sky. Take an example of Mongolia, most of the time the atmosphere is clear in this region, mainly because in 2002, their government made an initiative to reduce the number of flights in their region. Thus, reducing flights in the skies would be beneficial.

Secondly, with this development birds would be protected. As the sound created by plane engines is very harmful to birds, several species of birds have gone extinct in the past few decades. For instance, in Russia, it is expected that by the year 2042, the raven species of bird would be extinct, mainly because in their country region, the number of flights has recently increased. Hence, stopping planes from flying in the sky is a positive development in terms of protecting bird species.

Finally, through this innovation, the environment could be cleaner and more peaceful. As the high-altitude jets make massive noise and pollution in the air.

To sum up, even though businesses in this modern era function with the help of planes by transporting goods and passengers, I believe we benefit more by stopping air pollution and protecting birds, but also because of a clean and quiet environment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt but fails to adequately balance the discussion. While you clearly argue for the environmental benefits, the prompt specifically asks you to weigh these against the disadvantages for individuals and businesses. Your treatment of the disadvantages is limited to a brief mention in the conclusion, which is insufficient for a balanced argument. Furthermore, the examples provided, such as the claim about Mongolia in 2002 or the specific extinction date for ravens in Russia by 2042, appear factually unsupported and speculative, which weakens the persuasiveness of your argument. To improve, ensure you dedicate at least one full paragraph to the counter-arguments (disadvantages) to provide a more comprehensive response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and the use of linking words like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'To sum up' helps guide the reader. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes mechanical. The transition between the environmental benefits and the concluding summary is abrupt, and the final paragraph introduces a new point about businesses that should have been developed earlier in the body of the essay. Referencing is generally clear, but the logical flow is hindered by the lack of depth in the counter-argument section, making the overall structure feel somewhat unbalanced.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You rely on repetitive phrasing, such as 'in the sky' and 'flying in the sky', which appears multiple times. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'peace in the sky' and 'massive noise', which sound unnatural. To reach a higher band, try to use more sophisticated synonyms and collocations related to environmental science and aviation, such as 'carbon emissions', 'atmospheric pollution', or 'economic repercussions'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. For example, 'As if planes stopped flying' is an incorrect use of the conditional, and 'the raven species of bird would be extinct' is grammatically clunky. There are also issues with punctuation and sentence fragments, such as 'As the high-altitude jets make massive noise and pollution in the air', which is a dependent clause standing alone as a sentence. Increasing the variety of error-free complex structures while focusing on basic subject-verb agreement will significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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