Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.
Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Nowadays when world is getting more advanced in each factor like communication, treatments and etc, Flights are also the main components which were considered to be the fastest route to travel anywhere in the world.
Although as the number of flights rises which made a great impact on environmental pollution.
However it does not even effect environment only but it also affect the health of individual. Like as I am a physiotherapist and I have experienced many patients with complain of low back pain or poor posture. So it concludes that long travelling will affect an individual health.
If we talk about business then I have to say that flights has a vital role in businesses for example: transportation become very quick along with it individual can travel whole world for his business. Also if we have reduced the number of flights an individual will take every year it will just make a good impact. They can be prevent from any other health issues and they can travel once to do their business which will not only make their life easier but also it will have positive impact on their pockets.
The whole thing has equal pros and cons depending on individual interests like what their business need or what they need for themselves. I think so we should make any criteria based on terms that individual can travel how many times in a year to visit a place or for businesses. Then we can reduce the disadvantages of reducing the flights they take every year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt but lacks depth. While you mention both environmental and business aspects, the arguments are underdeveloped. For instance, the link between flying and 'low back pain' is a personal observation that does not directly address the environmental impact or the broader societal debate requested. The position is somewhat unclear, as you conclude by suggesting a compromise rather than taking a firm stance on whether the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a clear, relevant argument supported by logical reasoning rather than anecdotal evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is divided into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the logical progression between ideas is often weak. Transitions like 'Although as the number of flights rises' are grammatically incomplete and do not effectively link to the following sentence. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'also' and 'if'. The concluding paragraph introduces a new idea about 'criteria' rather than summarizing the main points, which disrupts the flow of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is basic and often repetitive. Phrases like 'make a great impact' and 'make a good impact' are used without precision. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'treatments' instead of 'transportation' or 'medical advancements', and 'prevent from' instead of 'protected from'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the range is limited, and there is a lack of topic-specific vocabulary related to environmental science or global business travel. Expanding your range of collocations and academic terminology is essential for a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('flights has a vital role'), article usage ('the whole world'), and sentence fragments ('Although as the number of flights rises...'). The sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at complex sentences often result in errors, such as 'So it concludes that long travelling will affect an individual health.' Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and capitalization. A focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors is required.
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