Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is undeniable that Aeroplanes are an efficient mode of transportation for longer distances. Owing to this, it has been observed that people have started to travel less by air or they have stopped it altogether because of its drastic impacts on the environment. Personally, I think so proponents outweigh the drawbacks because of less air pollution and and protection of air life. Whereas the drawbacks includes the loss of individuals and businesses leading to a market collapse.

One of the primary reason for supporting this notion includes that the planes uses petroleum products to fly; that omits thousands of air pollutants into our atmosphere leading to hazardous health issues as well as it also endangers birds life. For instance, a report was presented by an international organization in which it was presented that chemicals released as a result of combustion process in aeroplanes causes many health issues like asthama and many others.

On the other hand, there are some significant consequences of this notion that incudes the loss of people and their businesses because people tend to travel less by air. Furthermore, revenue generated by the aeroplane companies becomes less leading to the verge of market getting crash. For example, PIA was sold by the government of Pakistan to a private organization because the revenue generated by it became less than the expenditures for its maintenance and carrying its operations and it became impossible for the government to run it.

To sum up, although the drawbacks are significant but i think so the prospects of this notion are including more sustainable approach for the future by the protection of the environment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the environmental benefits and the disadvantages for individuals and businesses. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding the 'loss of individuals' is vague and lacks sufficient explanation. While the example of the airline industry in Pakistan is relevant, the connection between reduced flying and a total 'market collapse' is an over-generalization. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced analysis of how businesses adapt to reduced demand rather than focusing solely on negative outcomes.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices such as 'Owing to this', 'On the other hand', and 'To sum up' are used to guide the reader. However, the use of some cohesive devices is slightly mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'proponents outweigh the drawbacks because of less air pollution'. Additionally, the referencing in the second paragraph is a bit repetitive. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'combustion process' and 'sustainable approach'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'air life' instead of 'wildlife' or 'birdlife', and 'market getting crash' instead of 'market crash'. Furthermore, there are minor errors in word form, such as 'asthama' (spelling) and 'omits' instead of 'emits'. Expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary and focusing on accurate collocations would improve this score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('planes uses', 'drawbacks includes'), incorrect article usage ('a report was presented... in which it was presented'), and punctuation errors. The sentence structure is sometimes repetitive, and the use of 'i' instead of 'I' is a recurring error. To improve, you should focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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