Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

TOPIC: Some people says music is good way of brining people together of different cultres and ages.

Answer:

People argue that music a way to bringing the different cultures and ages together. This essay will discuss my opinion on this argument.

In Strongly believe that music is a universal form of communication that connect the people from different cultures. Similar choices of music bringing the people together on the same stage. Music events connect the people and make familiar with the cultures of the different regions. For example, Asian people also follow the English music and several concerts organised to enjoy the English music in different countries of the Asia where people join from different cultures.

Music can create a common interest between youngers and old generations. Old people can share the traditional way of music which bring interest in the younger communities and traditional song introduce people with different languages and cultures. In the same way the young blood can introduce the old generation with their choices and feel them younger like them. This the best source of building the positive interactions between multiple aspects of life. For Instance, Parents and their children can share the same music and attend the same concert the make the moments more enjoyable despite their age difference.

In Conclusion, some People believe that music is way to brining the different cultures and ages together. In my opinion Music is best source of interaction and communication in which people of the different age group can share their cultures as well as music choices. People of different ages can connects and enjoy the different cultures across the world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The student has written about a completely different topic (music bringing cultures and ages together) from the actual test prompt provided regarding reducing air travel for environmental benefits. Although the essay addresses the irrelevant prompt adequately by providing a clear position, relevant ideas, and examples like Asian fans of English music and families attending concerts, the failure to respond to the actual task prompt severely impacts this score. Under the IELTS descriptors, writing on the wrong topic prevents the response from scoring above a Band 4.0 for Task Achievement, as the actual prompt is responded to only minimally and tangentially.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

Despite the off-topic nature of the content, the essay displays a recognisable overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs featuring distinct examples, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas about cultural connection and generational interaction. However, cohesion is frequently mechanical and sometimes faulty, as seen in repetitive sentence openings and basic cohesive markers like 'In the same way' and 'For Instance'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and logical progression is disrupted by awkward phrasing. These features align closely with the Band 5 descriptors, where organisation is present but cohesive devices are inadequate and repetitive.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent errors in word choice and word formation that stem from direct translation or lack of precision. Examples include 'brining' instead of bringing, 'youngers' instead of younger generations, 'make familiar with' instead of familiarise with, and 'feel them younger' instead of making them feel younger. There are also typographical errors such as 'cultres' and 'connect' where 'connects' is required. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey basic ideas, the noticeable errors and limited range restrict the score to a Band 4.5, sitting between the basic descriptor of Band 4 and the adequate control of Band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The essay displays a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and faulty attempts at complex ones. Grammatical errors are frequent throughout the text, including missing verbs or articles, such as 'People argue that music a way to bringing' and 'I Strongly believe that music is a universal form of communication that connect the people'. Subject-verb agreement errors, awkward phrasing like 'which bring interest', and punctuation issues are common. Because these errors are frequent and occasionally cause difficulty for the reader in parsing the intended meaning, the performance reflects the Band 4.0 descriptors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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