Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

People have short time now a days, because they spend most of their time in other activities such as business meetings. So, people have decided to reduce their time and use commercial flight every year, because of shortage time. Furthermore, some people have a private jet and they consume lot of fuel every year that create detrimental effect on environment, however some people give prefer to fly altogether that is a great effort in this world.

Firstly, according to my perspective if individual use commercial flights with other people rather than private jet, so it helps in economic benefit and grow up the economy of one country. Additionally, it will also help in environment , because due to rush of flights on a environment they consume lot of fuel that is hazardous for environment and also create detrimental effect on people health. People suffer from many disease such as breathing problems, blood pressure and heart issues. Jet fuel has lot of carbon mono that is hazardous for human health, however people use soo many flights to reduce their time specially private jet as well as they used commercial flights instead of alone, when they use commercial flights its reduce fuel consumption and also reduce less fuel that spread on environment.

Secondly, people who are a business man they specially have a private jet if they use commercial flights they also face many consequences such as late from business meetings that is great loss for them.

Furthermore, these businessman face many problems.

Hence, i have successfully defended my perspective to regards people who fly private jet instead of used commercial flights has a great consequences than who used commercial flights with people. I have defended my view with example.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the environmental and personal consequences of reducing air travel, taking a clear stance that commercial flights are preferable to private jets. However, the development of ideas is limited and at times confusing. For instance, the opening sentences contain contradictory statements regarding why people fly. The ideas in body paragraphs are repetitive, frequently mentioning carbon emissions and business meetings without extending them effectively with detailed examples. Furthermore, the conclusion merely states that the author has defended their perspective rather than summarizing the main points. Consequently, the response aligns with the Band 5 descriptors, as the position is sometimes unclear and ideas are under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the overall organisation lacks a clear progression of thought. While basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Furthermore' are employed, they are often used mechanically or inappropriately, such as using 'Furthermore' to introduce a redundant sentence. Referencing is frequently unclear; for example, pronouns like 'they' and 'that' are ambiguous and make it difficult to follow the logical links between clauses. Paragraphing is attempted, but individual paragraphs lack internal cohesion and fail to guide the reader smoothly through the argument. This fits the Band 5 profile, where some organisation is present, but there is no clear overall progression and cohesive devices are inadequate or inaccurate.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently reusing terms such as 'environment', 'fuel', 'commercial flight', and 'private jet' without variation. There are also noticeable word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'shortage time', 'create detrimental effect', 'give prefer', and 'carbon mono' instead of carbon monoxide. Spelling errors like 'disease' (instead of diseases) and grammatical lexical slips occur throughout. Although the intended meaning is usually retrievable, the lexical range is limited and minimally adequate for the task, which corresponds directly to the Band 5 descriptors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to run-on sentences and unclear syntax. For example, the sentence starting with 'People suffer from many disease...' contains multiple clauses awkwardly linked together without proper punctuation or conjunctions. Frequent errors in tense, subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'businessman face'), and prepositions (e.g., 'on a environment') cause difficulty for the reader. While simple sentences are sometimes accurate, the high frequency of errors across both simple and complex forms places this response firmly at Band 5.

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