Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.
Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The Number of individual take decission to less fly in every year or banned to flying completly. as per my knolwadge taking much more benifits to everyone according to health prospactis saving envoirmentel demage and much more other benifit .
overall. some individual decided to control trasportation in air ,due to pollution and sky demage .they are think if they are able to stop traveling via aeroplane so they give more advantage to whole world .Because they are trying to safe envoirment ,control pollution and control to climate change .whatever, nowadays trafic on road also part of making pollution . in every country many industrial area the cause of the spread polution not onle flying is spread too much polution . Now , 21 Century begain . technalogy developed day by day . No one focus on the main issues of polution .Technalogy develped for us for our benift but "every good come with bad" i.e last month my friend mother very sick and we take to nearby hospital but doctor say's imedaitly transfer to Other city . then we calculate the distance of next suggesteed hospital is far from us is 450km approximately . the very big challenge for us.Then we decided to call air ambulance they provide excelent service and drop at hospital in Just 40 minute .then doctor did operate and them .
so , As per my openion a grat benifit for all individuals to take convience in emegency or saving time to travel via air . they can easily traveled from city to city and country to country . aevery thing posible due to great inventions. so don't stop to fly .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to address the prompt regarding whether the environmental benefits of reducing air travel outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses. However, the position is sometimes obscured by weak expression and tangential thoughts. The writer touches upon environmental concerns such as climate change and pollution, and attempts to balance this with the counter-argument regarding medical emergencies and the utility of air travel like air ambulances. While ideas are present, they remain underdeveloped and lack sufficient extension or formal examples from general knowledge. The arguments shift abruptly between general pollution sources like road traffic and industrial areas, making the main thesis slightly unfocused. This aligns well with the Band 5 descriptor, where the task is addressed, but ideas are limited, under-developed, and the position is not consistently clear throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The essay displays severe organisational flaws. Paragraphing is highly erratic; sentences that should be separated are grouped into massive, rambling blocks, and logical progression is frequently disrupted. There is a lack of clear overall progression, and transitions between ideas feel disjointed and mechanical. Cohesive devices are either misused, overly simplistic, or missing entirely (e.g., using 'whatever,' and 'so' inappropriately as paragraph connectors). Referencing is often unclear, leaving the reader confused about pronoun antecedents and temporal shifts. While the writer attempts to signal points using phrases like 'overall' and 'As per my openion,' the underlying structure is difficult to follow. These characteristics firmly place the response at Band 4, as information and ideas are not arranged coherently, and the overall progression lacks logical structure.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and heavily flawed. Throughout the response, there are persistent word-choice and spelling errors, such as 'knolwadge' for knowledge, 'envoirmentel' for environmental, 'demage' for damage, 'trasportation' for transportation, 'technaly' or 'technalgy' for technology, and 'imedaitly' for immediately. The student's lexical range is severely limited, forcing them to rely on simple, repetitive terms that often strain the reader's comprehension. Less common lexical items are attempted but inevitably result in incorrect collocations or non-existent words. Communication is noticeably hindered by these lexical inaccuracies, restricting the evaluation to Band 4, where vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and frequent errors significantly burden the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical control is extremely weak throughout the text. The response features a very limited range of sentence structures, and almost every sentence contains severe errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, punctuation, and clause structure. Examples include fragments and run-on sentences like 'The Number of individual take decission to less fly in every year or banned to flying completly' and 'doctor say's imedaitly transfer to Other city.' There is a total absence of accurate complex sentence forms, and simple sentences are frequently malformed. Punctuation is haphazard, with random capitalisation and spacing issues. Because errors are extremely frequent, cause constant difficulty for the reader, and frequently distort meaning, this performance falls squarely into Band 4 for grammatical range and accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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