Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.
Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In this unpredictable world, it is considered by certain individuals that reduction in the counting of fly by general public for the benefit of environment and businesses. I largely believe the benefits of this trend will lead / outweigh its detrimental aspect.
To commence with, there are a myriad of causative aspects of how to reduce the number of fly is fruitful for both surrounding and businesses. The most dominant one is that it is helpful to continue the natural air. To be more precise, if there will be reduction in the airlines then it will automatically reduce the air pollutions and people can get relief from asthma which is the most serious issue nowadays. Another important aspect is that it can boon for the holistic development of home country's growth. In addition to this, people can get more vacancies in their own geographical boundaries. As a ramification, it can assist to boost the economy of the country.
Another considerable aspect is that it helps to store fuel for the future. To elaborate it, people can save carbon emissions for the future generation. However, there are a few disadvantages of this trend. The first and the foremost is that expansion of businesses can not establish at international level. To explain businessman can not make good relationship with other countries for the development of their companies. For instance, around businesses are unable to avail globalization due to reduction in fly. As a consequence, it can create harmful impact on businesses.
To conclude, even though globalization can not occur, I firmly believe that it can lead to growth to local businesses with employment rate and storage of natural resources.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the environmental benefits and the disadvantages for businesses. A clear position is stated in the introduction where the student mentions, "I largely believe the benefits of this trend will lead / outweigh its detrimental aspect." However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the discussion on air pollution and health benefits is briefly stated without deeper extension, and terms like "reduction in the counting of fly" are awkward. While all parts of the task are addressed, the arguments remain somewhat superficial and lack specific, well-reasoned examples, placing this submission firmly at Band 5.5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is organized into distinct paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which provides a basic framework. Cohesive devices are used to signal progression, such as "To commence with," "Another considerable aspect," and "To conclude." However, referencing and logical progression are frequently faulty or mechanical. For example, sentences like "To be more precise, if there will be reduction in the airlines then it will automatically reduce the air pollutions" show weak cohesive links and awkward transitions between ideas. Paragraphing is present, but the overall flow is hindered by repetitive phrasing and unclear connections, resulting in a Band 5.0 score.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The lexical range is limited and frequently inappropriate. The student makes several notable word-choice errors, such as "reduction in the counting of fly" instead of "reduction in air travel" and "continue the natural air" instead of "improve air quality." Words are often misused or combined unnaturally, such as "boon for the holistic development of home country's growth" and "people can get more vacancies." These errors cause noticeable difficulty for the reader and reflect a vocabulary range that struggles to convey precise meanings, keeping the response at Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, such as tense and conditional errors ("if there will be reduction"), missing articles, and awkward phrasing ("expansion of businesses can not establish at international level"). Punctuation and verb agreement are also problematic at times. While simple sentences are generally understandable, attempts at more complex structures frequently result in faulty syntax that can cause confusion for the reader, leading to a Band 5.0 score.
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