Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The increasing prevalence of a number of people have chosen to decrease the number of times they fly every year or to stop using air line system altogether. This has led to considerable debate about its effects. Although reduced the number of use the air line system offers several advantages, it also has certain disadvantages. In contemporary society, reduced the number of flying or stop flying is a part of a heated debate. This essay will examine both sides and I believe that advantages are more significant overall.

In conclusion, less utilization of flying system provides benefits such as the environment clean from air pollution. But it also creates problems, particularly less international meetings which may lead to business loss. Overall, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantage because healthy environment is crucial for healthy lifestyle and outdoor activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

Your response responds to the task only minimally, and importantly, it fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 250 words, containing only 140 words. While you attempt to address the prompt by mentioning both advantages and disadvantages, your position is expressed simply rather than developed thoroughly. You touch upon environmental benefits and business losses, but these ideas remain limited and under-developed due to the lack of extension and supporting examples. To move to a higher band, you would need to write a full-length essay that covers all parts of the task in a well-developed manner, expanding on your arguments with specific examples from your own knowledge or experience rather than relying on brief, repetitive statements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some organisation in your response, as you attempt an introduction and a conclusion, but information and ideas are not arranged in a truly coherent progression overall. The essay structure feels somewhat disjointed because the introduction repeats itself and the conclusion incorrectly re-introduces the main body points rather than synthesising them smoothly. Furthermore, paragraphing is basic, and cohesive devices are used in a mechanical or repetitive way, such as using 'In conclusion' incorrectly at the start of your final paragraph when it should summarize the whole piece. To improve, you need to ensure a clear logical sequence throughout your essay with appropriate paragraph division and smoother transitions between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary range is limited but minimally adequate to convey your basic point of view. You attempt some less common terms like 'contemporary society' and 'utilization', but your writing contains noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word form, such as 'air line system' instead of 'airlines' and 'reduced the number of use' instead of 'reducing the frequency'. These inaccuracies sometimes cause difficulty or hesitation for the reader. To achieve a higher score, you should build a broader vocabulary and ensure you use words in their correct grammatical forms and collocations, avoiding repetitive phrasing like 'reduced the number of flying'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You demonstrate a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple or awkwardly constructed complex forms that are frequently faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout your response, including issues with verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, such as 'The increasing prevalence of a number of people have chosen' and 'reduced the number of flying'. These errors cause noticeable difficulty for the reader and sometimes obscure your intended meaning. To improve your grammatical range and accuracy, you should focus on mastering basic sentence patterns, avoiding tangled phrasing, and carefully checking your work for agreement, tense consistency, and proper clause structures.

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