Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the modern era, environmental benifits and better atmosphear have become a controversial topic today. A perennial debate centres on whether a group of individuals have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or stop flying altogether is beneficial or detrimental to society.The primary purpose of this composition is to elaborate on both the plus and minus to justufy why I believe flying altogether pros or cons overshadow the reduce the numberof times.

Beginning with the meritorious aspects, the foremost is saving the environment and carbon emission. Due to people may avoide fly to another places, it results in reduce the air pillution and risk of climate change so airspace can safley fly and land without any restrictio of risk. For instance, in India, plane was unconrolled in 2020 because the did not check wheather forcast and any other saftey equipments so many people worry about how to land safley and save us. Another pivotal bright side is the major factor for the benefit of the eviornmnet. When people can fly with saftey guidence and know about the instruction.

Exploring the potential deawbacks, a notable one is that businesses and local community can travel another country for personal meetings and exploring new cultures.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

First, it must be noted that the response contains only 194 words, falling significantly short of the 250-word minimum requirement (additionally, 13 words copied directly from the prompt were not counted). Consequently, the response addresses the task only partially. The writer attempts to discuss both environmental benefits and disadvantages for individuals and businesses, but the position is not always clear, and the ideas are severely limited and under-developed. For instance, the discussion of disadvantages is abruptly cut off mid-sentence at the end of the text ('Exploring the potential deawbacks, a notable one is that businesses and local community can travel another country for personal meetings and exploring new cultures.'). To move to higher bands, the writer must ensure the word count requirement is met and fully develop arguments with clear reasoning and relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The text shows some organisation, such as attempting an introductory paragraph and transitional phrases like 'Beginning with the meritorious aspects', but there is no clear overall progression. Paragraphing is disjointed, and the response ends prematurely in the middle of a paragraph without a proper conclusion. Cohesive devices are sometimes inadequate or inaccurate, and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'the did not check wheather forcast' where the pronoun lacks a clear antecedent. To improve coherence and cohesion, the writer needs to structure the essay into logical paragraphs with a clear introduction, body paragraphs featuring distinct points, and a concluding summary, using cohesive devices smoothly to guide the reader through the arguments.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and basic, with noticeable spelling and word-choice errors that frequently impede communication. There are numerous spelling mistakes throughout the text, such as 'benifits', 'atmosphear', 'justufy', 'avoide', 'pillution', 'safley', 'restrictio', 'unconrolled', 'wheather', 'eviornmnet', and 'deawbacks'. Furthermore, awkward phrasing and word choices, such as 'flying altogether pros or cons overshadow the reduce the numberof times', cause strain for the reader. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their lexical range, master standard spelling conventions, and use words and collocations more accurately in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer displays a limited range of structures and frequent errors that can cause difficulty for the reader. While there are some attempts at complex sentence forms, these are often faulty or incomplete. Examples of grammatical errors include subject-verb agreement and prepositional issues, such as 'Due to people may avoide fly' and 'businesses and local community can travel another country'. Punctuation and sentence boundaries are also problematic, with run-on sentences and missing elements that disrupt the flow. To improve, the writer needs to increase the accuracy of basic grammatical patterns, ensure correct verb forms after modal verbs and prepositions, and exercise better control over complex sentence construction.

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