Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is widely argued that some people have considered that they should minimize the number of flights or stop flying completely. They believe that this development can benefit earth and outweigh the drawbacks for individuals and businesses. While, I did not find this perspective convincing because it can impact the growth of population.

On one hand, individuals decided to take less flight per year primarily to reduce the environmental pollution. Additionally, they consider that smoke comes out from the engine of the glider can pollute air and also devastating for the birds' lives because planes can kill them during flight. For instance, an average decrease in the flights rate per year can be beneficial in protecting our globe from pollution but solely minimizing this cannot be enough. All other vehicles also involved in effecting air quality index. Therefore, this single step can be profound in improving air quality but cannot be enough to save the globe entirely.

While on the other hand, reduction of commercial fights has numerous environmental benefits but cannot outweighs the disadvantages for the people and businesses because a lot of consignment are totally belong to international communities in which travel in needed. The most compelling reason is that these foreign business deals are always crucial for the growth of both company and staff and serve to achieve their future endeavors. This can take their business markets and strategies on international platforms and earn money in foreign currency.

In conclusion, it is clear that environmental pollution can be reduce by decreasing the number of flights but this can effect the growth and success rate of people and companies. So, flight should be minimize and make it more remote work but necessary travels must be taken.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the environmental benefits and the disadvantages for individuals and businesses, establishing a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is uneven. For instance, the discussion regarding the impact on population growth in the introduction is somewhat unclear and tangential to the core question. In the body paragraphs, while relevant points are presented regarding pollution, bird life, and international business deals, some of these ideas remain under-developed or briefly stated rather than fully extended with robust reasoning and specific examples. To move to a higher level, you should ensure that every main idea is thoroughly elaborated with deeper explanations and more concrete, well-integrated examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the response into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different perspectives, moving from environmental benefits to the disadvantages for businesses. However, cohesion at times feels mechanical or faulty. Transitional phrases like 'On one hand', 'Additionally', and 'While on the other hand' are employed, but referencing and logical flow between sentences occasionally falter, such as the abrupt transition in the final paragraph. To improve Coherence and Cohesion, you should work on creating smoother logical bridges between sentences and ensure that cohesive devices connect ideas naturally without drawing unnecessary attention to themselves.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating an attempt to use less common items such as 'environmental pollution', 'international communities', and 'foreign currency'. However, there are noticeable limitations and inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word formation throughout the text. Examples include phrasing like 'take less flight', 'smoke comes out from the engine of the glider', 'flights rate', and 'consignments are totally belong'. While these errors do not severely impede overall communication, they restrict the lexical score. To achieve a higher score, you need to expand your range of vocabulary, pay closer attention to natural collocations, and ensure correct word forms are used in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response features a mix of simple and some complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt at varied structures. Nevertheless, there are frequent errors in grammar, articles, plurals, and verb forms that persist throughout the text. Examples of these errors include 'did not find this perspective', 'all other vehicles also involved', 'commercial fights', 'travel in needed', and 'flight should be minimize'. While communication remains mostly intact despite these issues, the presence of frequent grammatical slips prevents the writing from demonstrating good control of complex structures. To progress, you should focus on tightening your sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and thoroughly proofreading your work to eliminate basic structural errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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