Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

A GROUP OF INDIVIDUALS HAVE DECIDED TO MINIMIZE THE NUMBER OF TIMES THEY TRAVEL BY AEROPLANES EVERY YEAR OR TO STOP FLYING ALTOGETHER. ALTHOUGH THIS TREND MAY LEAD TO COLOSSAL NUMBER OF TURMOILS FOR INDIVIDUALS AS WELL AS ORGANIZATIONS DUE TO MORE TIME CONSUMING MODES OF TRANSPORTATION , LESS CONVENIENCE AND SOME BUSINESS HINDRANCES.I BELIEVE THAT THE ECOLOGICAL ADVANTAGES OF THIS PROGRESS OUTNUMBER THE DEMERITS FOR INDIVIDUALS AND BUSINESS BECAUSE OF LESS CARBON EMISSSION, ENCOURAGEMENT TO GREEN VEHICLES AND BENEFITS FOR COMING GENERATIONS.

ONE IMPORTANT ASPECT TO CONSIDER HERE IS THAT REDUCTION IN TRAVEL VIA FLIGHTS WILL RESULT INTO LOWER CARBON EMISSION.IN THIS CONTEMPORARY ERA,GLOBAL WARMING IS INCREASING AT AN ALARMING RATES DUE TO INCREASE IN TEMPERATURE WHICH GIVE RISE TO NUMEROUS HEALTH AILMENTS SUCH AS RESPIRATORY AND ALLERGY PROBLEMS. TO CITE AND EXAMPLE, IF PEOPLE WILL SWITCH FROM FLIGHTS TO ALTERNATIVE MODES OF TRANSPORTS, IT WILL DRAMATICALLY DECRESE EMISSION OF GASES HAVING DETRIMENTAL IMPACTS ON ENVIRONMENT. MOREOVER, SUCH TRANSFORMATION WILL RESULT INTO MORE UTILISATION OF GREEN VEHICLES LIKE BUSES, CARS, TRAINS AND MANY MORE WHICH CAN FACILITATES FUTURE GENERATIONS BY PROVIDING OPTIMUM AND FRUITFULL RESULTS BY PROVIDING HEALTHY ATMOSPHERE AND REMOTE CHANCES OF DEADLY DISEASES.

ANOTHER ASPECT TO INTRODUCE HERE IS THAT THERE ARE SEVERAL DRAWBACKS TO REDUCE AIR TRAVEL. MOST PROMINANT DEMERIT IS THAT IT MAY HURDLE RELATIONSHIP OF BUSINESS WITH THEIR OVERSEAS CLIENTS. VIDEO CONFERENCING IS NOT SUITABLE IN EVER SITUATION AS SOMETIME SITE VISIT BECOME MENDATORY. FURTHERMORE, IN THIS MODERN ERA, PEOPLE HAS BECOME WORKAHOLICS AND HAVE LESS AMOUNT OF TIME TO TRAVEL THROUGH ROAD VEHICLES AS SUCH VEHICLES COST MORE TIME TO MOVE FROM PILLAR TO POST. TO EXAMPLIFY, IF A BUSINESSMAN HAS TO MEET HIS CLIENT LOCATED IN DIFFERENT CITY AT FAR OFF PLACE, IT WILL EASILY TAKE TWO TO THREE DAYS TO PERFORM SUCH FORMALITIES. THEREFORE, IT WILL BE INCONVENIENT FOR THE INDIVIDUALS WHO REMAIL AS BUSY AS A BEE.

IN CONCLUSION, EVENTHOUGH THERE ARE CONSIDERABLE NUMBER OF DISADVANTAGES OF AVOIDING TRAVEL BY FLIGHT. YET I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT THIS MENTALITY WILL BE FRUIT

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that the environmental benefits outweigh the disadvantages, and you address both sides by discussing emissions and the effects on business travel and personal convenience. The examples of overseas clients, site visits and longer journeys help make the disadvantages relevant. However, the environmental case is more asserted than explained: the link between fewer flights, lower emissions and improved health is broad, and the claim that people will use “green vehicles” is not supported with a clear comparison of transport options. The conclusion is incomplete (“this mentality will be fruit…”), so it does not fully restate or justify your judgement. Develop each main point with a specific explanation or example, and finish with a complete conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, one paragraph on environmental benefits, one on disadvantages, and a concluding section. This makes the main direction understandable. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several claims are joined together without clear explanation. For example, the first body paragraph moves from carbon emissions to health problems, alternative transport and future generations, while the relationship between these points is not always made explicit. Linking phrases such as “Moreover” and “Furthermore” help signal additions, but repeated formulaic openings (“One important aspect to consider” and “Another aspect to introduce”) make the organisation feel mechanical. The final sentence is cut off, weakening the ending. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each supporting detail directly to its main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “carbon emission,” “global warming,” “overseas clients” and “video conferencing,” and some choices communicate the subject clearly. There are also frequent inaccurate or unnatural word combinations that make parts of the argument harder to understand, such as “colossal number of turmoils,” “result into,” “hurdle relationship of business” and “remote chances of deadly diseases.” Spelling errors, including “emisssion,” “decrese” and “prominant,” further reduce precision. Some expressions are overly elaborate where a simpler phrase would be clearer. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling; using familiar vocabulary precisely will strengthen the argument more than inserting uncommon words that do not fit the context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “Although,” “because” and “if,” but control is inconsistent, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to process. Examples include “which give rise” after the singular “increase,” “people has become,” and “site visit become mandatory.” Articles and sentence boundaries are also problematic: the opening is a long, all-capital sentence with a fragment-like ending, and the conclusion stops before the thought is complete. Punctuation spacing and comma use are inconsistent. Practise building accurate sentences with one main idea and a clearly controlled subordinate clause, checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms. Then vary the structures once the basic sentence patterns are reliable.

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