Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some individuals have chosen to reduce the number of times they fly annually or to stop flying altogether. It is argued whether the ecological advantages of this trend are greater than its drawbacks for people and companies. In my opinion, the environmental benefits do outweigh the disadvantages.

firstly i want to tell you about environmental, when airplan would not fly than the pollution will be reduce atomaticaly, the environmental would be neat and clean. Many people faced this decese after that they died. When airplane will be not fly than many people can servive for long time, so i think it would be batter for individuals. Secondly, many people worry the noice of airplane, which live near the airport. Another thing is that when peoples would not go abroad than they invest the money in own country and than the financial situation would be batter.

On the other hand, if airplane would not fly than mostly people can find difficulties because many people have own business on the other countries. And more individuals live abroads so they can not meat with our famlies than they will be worried. When airplan would not fly so financial situation will be bad of a country. I think airplans are more popular for individuals in life, because some people go for Umrah and Haj and other works.And many people go to meat with famliy and friend on holidays.

In conclusion, i think airplans are neccessry for individuals and they can earn money with own business.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear view in the introduction—that environmental benefits outweigh the disadvantages—and you mention relevant effects on health, businesses, families, and travel for religious purposes. However, the discussion does not consistently support that position: the body gives several disadvantages of reduced flying, while the environmental case is mostly limited to a brief claim about pollution. The point about people dying from pollution is unclear and needs explanation or evidence. Your conclusion then says planes are necessary, which weakens the position stated earlier. The response is also 7 words below the 250-word minimum; the 8 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop both sides with specific explanations and make your final position consistent.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “firstly” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. These markers help readers identify the broad stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the first body paragraph moves from pollution and health to noise and domestic investment without clearly connecting these points. Repeated use of “when” and “than” also makes relationships between ideas difficult to follow, and some references, such as “this disease,” are unclear. The conclusion introduces a position that conflicts with the introduction. Group related points together, use linking expressions more precisely, and ensure each paragraph advances the same overall argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use basic vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “environmental,” “pollution,” “business,” “financial situation,” and “disadvantages,” so the main subject is generally identifiable. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or misspelled choices make parts of the response difficult to understand, such as “decese,” “servive,” “noice,” and “meat” where you mean meeting people. Phrases such as “the environmental would be neat and clean” and “invest the money in own country” are also unnatural or imprecise. Build a more accurate set of topic-specific expressions and check spelling and collocations. For example, describe reduced emissions and the economic effects on businesses rather than relying on broad phrases such as “financial situation.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic connectors to express cause and contrast, but sentence structures are limited and errors occur frequently. Examples include “when airplan would not fly,” “many people can servive,” and “many people have own business,” which show problems with articles, verb forms, and possessives. The sentence beginning “Many people faced this decese after that they died” is difficult to interpret because its clauses are not joined clearly. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, including lowercase “firstly” and “i,” and missing spaces after full stops. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “because,” “although,” and “if.”

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