Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

IN RECENT TIMES, SOME PEOPLE HAVE DECIDED TO CURTAIN THE NUMBER OF TIMES THEY FLY EVERY YEAR OR TO STOP FLYING ALTOGETHER. IT IS WIDELY BELIEVED THAT THIS ISSUE HAS BECOME INCREASINGLY SIGNIFICANT IN MODERN SOCITIES. WHILE CERTAIN EXPERT BELIEVE THAT ENVIRONMENTAL MERITS OF THIS SOCIETY OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES FOR INDIVIDUALS AND BUSINESSES. IN MY PERSONAL OPINION, I TOTALY DISAGREED WITH THIS BECAUSE THERE ARE NUMEROUS DRAWBACKS FOR INDIVIDUALS AND BUSINESSES. THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE BASIS REASONS FOR THE ADEQUATE MEASURES .

TO BEGIN WITH INDIVIDUAL DISADVANTAGE, THE VITAL IS MINOR TRAVEL. FOR INSTANCE, PEOPLE CAN PAY FOR TRAVELLING BECAUSE OF SHORTAGE OF FLYING, THEY WILL INCREASE THE EXPENSE OF TICKET. IT LEAD TO POOR PEOPLE CANNOT AFFORD THE TICKET FOR GOING ABROAD.IN ADDITION, IT CAN EFFECT A SIGNIFICANT BUSINESS. FOR EXAMPLE, PEOPLE CANNOT TRAVEL FOR INTERNATIONAL MEETINGS WHICH CAUSE THEIR DEAL DELAYED OR ELMINATE WITH THEIR PARTNERS.IT MAY RESULT AS INCREASE THE ECONOMY OF OUR COUNTRY.

MOREOVER,THE PRIMARY IS STUDYING ABROAD. FOR INSTANCE, EVERY YEAR LOT OF STUDENTS TRAVEL FOR THEIR HIGHER EDUCATION WHICH PLAY A ROLE FOR THEIR FUTURE CAREER. IT RESULT THAT OUR YOUTH POPULATION HAVE MINOR JOBS AND THEN STUDENTS CAREER ELIMINATE IN THIS WAY.

IN CONCLUSION, THERE ARE MULTIPLE BENEFITS OF ENVIRONMENT BUT WITHOUT FLYING ABROAD THERE ARE NUMERIOUS DRAWBACKS THAT CANNOT HOLD OUR COUNTRY THEN OUR ECONOMY ID GOING FULLY DOWN. ALTHOUGH, SOME GOVERNMENT AWARENESS CAN HELP A LOT THAT WE CAN FLY FOR A SPECIFIC TIME OR DARE IN A YEAR WHICH IMPROVES OUR ECONOMY AND ALSO POLLUTION.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear view that the disadvantages outweigh the environmental benefits, and you give relevant areas to discuss: travel costs, international business meetings, and overseas study. However, the response only minimally develops the question of whether the environmental benefits outweigh these disadvantages. The environmental side is acknowledged mainly in the conclusion, without explaining how reducing flights could help, while several disadvantages are unclear or unsupported—for example, the claim that fewer flights would increase ticket costs. The final suggestion about government awareness and limiting flights does not clearly resolve your position. The response is also 7 words below the 250-word minimum; the 13 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop both sides with clear explanations and examples, and make your comparison explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, paragraphs on individual and business effects, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “To begin with,” “In addition,” and “Moreover” help signal the sequence of points. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because the links between claims are unclear. For example, the business-meeting point moves from delayed deals to “increase the economy,” which appears to conflict with the intended argument. The conclusion also introduces a compromise without clearly connecting it to the position stated in the introduction. Use one main idea per paragraph, explain each cause-and-effect link, and use referencing and transitions to show how each point supports your overall comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “environmental merits,” “international meetings,” “higher education,” and “pollution.” However, the range is limited and many word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “curtain the number” for reducing flights, “the vital is minor travel,” and “their career eliminate.” Spelling errors such as “socities,” “totaly,” and “numerious” also reduce accuracy. Build a reliable set of topic phrases and check that each word fits its context; for instance, describe the effect on business as “delay negotiations” rather than using unclear wording. More precise vocabulary would make your ideas easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You use some simple sentences and attempt longer structures with “because,” “which,” and “although,” but control is inconsistent, and errors frequently obscure the intended meaning. For example, “It lead to poor people cannot afford the ticket” combines clauses incorrectly, while “people can pay for travelling” does not form a clear grammatical relationship with the following explanation. There are also problems with subject–verb agreement and verb forms, as in “students travel … which play a role” and “our youth population have.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation are sometimes missing, particularly around “abroad.IN ADDITION” and “partners.IT.” Practise forming complete clauses and checking agreement, verb forms, and punctuation before adding more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.