Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There are some people in the world who have decided to reduce the numbers of times they fly to another country for businesses and other purposes. I completely disagree that the environmental benefits of this development outwiegh the disadvantages for businesses. In these paragarph, i will exlain how this development is a negative effects on people businesses.

Firstly on the one hand, there are many advantages to travel to the world by aeroplane. It will provide people a fastest source of travel around the world. It will benefit people a lot by providing a comfort zone in the aeroplane and people will feel active and thoughly entertain throughout the jounery. And by flying through aeroplane, individual can focus on their work or purpose of their travel. For example, If i want to go to another country, if i use aeroplane and helicopter instead of a car, it will save a lot of time of mine.

On the other hand, if people started to reduce the number of times they fly every year, they faces a lot of financial loss in their businesses by not reaching on time at their important meeting. By flying, an individual can expand their businesses thoughout the world.

Furthermore, there are also many environmental benefits by flying through aeroplane or any flying vechicle, as these can reduce the electricity consumption used by electric vechiles and train in a developed country. Through this process, we can reduce the excessive pollution.

In conclusion, flying process provides as many advantages a person can avail. And by this process people can travel all over the world without any disturbance and no time issue.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear position in the introduction—“I completely disagree”—and give reasons related to travel convenience and business meetings. However, the response only minimally addresses the central comparison: whether environmental benefits outweigh disadvantages. The discussion of business losses is brief, while the environmental paragraph argues that flying can reduce pollution, which does not explain the benefits of reducing flights and appears to misunderstand the issue. The individual disadvantages are also not clearly weighed against environmental gains. To strengthen the response, explain specific environmental benefits of fewer flights, then compare them directly with effects on individuals and businesses, supporting each point with relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “On the other hand” and “Furthermore” show an attempt to organise ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the paragraphs do not consistently develop the stated argument. For example, “On the other hand” introduces business disadvantages, but the next paragraph shifts to environmental benefits of flying rather than fewer flights. The conclusion repeats general advantages without resolving the question of whether environmental benefits outweigh disadvantages. Some linking phrases are also used mechanically, and the opening “Firstly on the one hand” combines signals awkwardly. Give each paragraph one clear purpose and use transitions to show how its point supports your overall comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a basic range of topic vocabulary, including “environmental benefits,” “financial loss,” “businesses” and “pollution,” so the general subject is usually understandable. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make ideas unclear, such as “comfort zone in the aeroplane,” “feel active and thoughly entertain,” and “reduce the excessive pollution.” Spelling errors, including “outwiegh,” “paragarphs” and “vechiles,” also weaken control. Aim for precise phrases that express the task’s key ideas, such as emissions from air travel, reduced demand for flights, and business travel costs. Check spelling carefully and avoid using “flying” repeatedly when a more exact term is available.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a conditional example beginning “If I want to go to another country” and a sentence introduced by “Furthermore.” However, the range remains limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to interpret. Examples include “they faces” instead of a plural verb form, “individual can focus” without an appropriate determiner, and “flying process provides as many advantages a person can avail,” which has an incomplete comparison structure. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, particularly in the long opening body paragraph. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles and complete comparison patterns, then use shorter, controlled sentences before attempting more complex structures.

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