Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. Reducing or stoping the air travel is beneficial for the environment.

In my opinion, reducing air travel may reduce the air pollution and actually can help to enhance the enviorment. For instance, air travel such as airplanes and helicopters are responsible for the air pollution. They use fuel which burns and keep the engine run. As result, toxic gases have been produced by burring fuel and causes the air pollution. In addition, it destroyes the ozone layer which protects us by ultra voilet rays.

Furthermore, reducing flights can create numereous challenges for buisness. The main reason is behind, some businessmen used to travel via flights. They can go every where in a very short time. If this happens they have to wai

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the environmental benefit of reducing flights and begin to explain a disadvantage for businesses, so the response is relevant to the question. However, the discussion is very incomplete: the environmental point focuses mainly on pollution and the ozone layer, while the business disadvantage is only introduced and ends mid-sentence (“If this happens they have to wai”). The comparison of whether benefits outweigh disadvantages is not established, and there is no developed conclusion or supporting example. The response contains 123 words, below the required 250; the 19 words copied from the prompt are excluded from that count. To improve, state your position clearly, develop both sides with specific explanations or examples, and complete the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, a paragraph about environmental effects, and a paragraph beginning to discuss business. Linking expressions such as “For instance,” “In addition,” and “Furthermore” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, progression is limited because the business paragraph stops before its point is explained, and the essay has no conclusion to bring the argument together. Some connections are also unclear, such as “The main reason is behind,” which does not clearly introduce the explanation. Build each paragraph around one complete point, use clear links between cause and effect, and finish with a conclusion that directly answers whether the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “air pollution,” “toxic gases,” “fuel,” and “ozone layer,” which helps communicate the environmental topic. There is also an attempt to use more formal language, for example “beneficial” and “numerous challenges.” However, the range is limited and several spelling or word-choice errors reduce precision: “enviorment,” “burring,” “destroyes,” and “buisness.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “keep the engine run” and “The main reason is behind.” Aim to learn accurate topic collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “aviation emissions” and “business travel” would help express the ideas efficiently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a cause-and-effect explanation beginning “They use fuel which burns…” and a sentence introduced by “In addition.” The main ideas are generally understandable, but errors occur frequently and some structures are incomplete or difficult to follow. For example, “Reducing or stoping the air travel” has an inconsistent verb form, “airplanes and helicopters are responsible” does not agree with the singular idea of “air travel,” and “If this happens they have to wai” is unfinished. In “toxic gases have been produced … and causes,” the verb forms do not agree. Practise complete sentence construction, subject–verb agreement, and consistent verb forms, then proofread for sentence endings and punctuation.

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