Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays an increasing number of population decided to avoid the number of fly times every year due to their environmental concerns although this decision make certain difficulties for individuals and business mans I believe that environmental disadvantage outweigh the advantages.

one of the main advantage is reduce the number of air travel it can help to reduce the carbon emissions. aircrafts take more fuel and it can release the smoke or pollution into global warming and greenhouse gases. for instance, if aviation industry take action about alteration in flights and without all family member flying in different time it could be beneficial for future generation because it can improve the ventilation system and oxygenation system could be very well therefore, government improve the technologies or making more reliable flights.

There are the lots of disadvantages stop flying together and the number of flights reduce timing, the economic development and business man inconvenience on time it can be negative effects because political meeting ,foreign conferences, export important luggage, emergencies on other countries due to mostly families are settle in other state for example, if a family member engage in some diseases and their treatment are not available or curable in own country it could be frustrated the inconvenience flying together.

In conclusion, the environmental disadvantages are more rather than advantages, economic growth and business man inconvenience and families issue could be negative on environment whereas on the other side by air travel and reducing the time it can effect the global warming and government improve technology.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the topic by discussing reduced emissions and possible effects on business, travel, and families, and you include examples such as international meetings and seeking medical treatment abroad. However, the position is difficult to identify: the opening says environmental disadvantages outweigh advantages, while the conclusion appears to say environmental disadvantages are greater than advantages but then gives reasons that seem to support the opposite view. The environmental benefit is also not clearly compared with the disadvantages, and several points—such as improved ventilation and oxygenation—are unclear or insufficiently explained. State directly whether the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, then develop two or three relevant reasons with clear cause-and-effect explanations and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic essay shape, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and disadvantages, and a conclusion. This gives the reader some sense of the intended organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow, and connections between ideas are often unclear. For example, the first body paragraph moves from aircraft emissions to family travel, then to ventilation and government technology without explaining how these points relate. The conclusion also repeats ideas without resolving the position. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, arrange supporting details in a logical order, and use linking expressions only where the relationship is clear. Clearer paragraph development and referencing would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “carbon emissions,” “greenhouse gases,” “economic development,” and “foreign conferences,” which shows some awareness of the subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning difficult to understand, such as “number of fly times,” “business mans,” and “inconvenience flying together.” Some expressions are also imprecise: “release the smoke or pollution into global warming” does not clearly describe the effect of aircraft emissions. Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check word forms and spelling. For example, use “number of flights,” “businesspeople,” and “contribute to global warming.” More precise vocabulary would help you express your ideas without relying on vague or awkward phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt longer sentences and subordinate clauses, for example, “although this decision make certain difficulties…” and the sentence beginning “for instance, if aviation industry take action…”. However, these complex attempts are often faulty, and errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries frequently make the meaning hard to follow. Examples include “this decision make,” “aircrafts take,” and “if aviation industry take action.” Several sentences run together without clear punctuation, particularly in the paragraph about disadvantages, so it is difficult to see where one idea ends and another begins. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses. Check subject–verb agreement and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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