Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many individuals decided to demolish the use of flies. They may reduce the spending times they used to fly whole year from one place to another. From my point of view, the pros of this development outweight the cons for both human and traders.

On the one hand, though using fly is costly and expensive, many people prefer to use this vehicle for traveling especially rich merchants. However, it saves valuable time. In addition, transporting by bus, train or other public vehicles is quiet convenient and budget friendly for general public. For example, majority of the people in our country make use of buses, trains and noah. As a consequences, although this travel methods are suitable for citizens, it can causes environmental damages.

On the other hand, reducing the uses of plane is a true advantage of our nature. Overuse of flies can destroy our environment also it is terrible among older generation. Furthermore, merchants can take their meetings in video calls so that they have no need to fly. For example, abundant of population mainly businessmen minimise their travel to other nation. As a result, it saves not only time but also money.

In conclusion, as far as I am concern, in this modern era we can easily connect to others by different social sites such as facebook, messenger, zoom apps and so on. Traders and residents can also use this websites for their necessity or business. So that they are not travel frequently to other country and it is really beneficial for our environmental well-being.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that reducing flights brings more benefits than disadvantages, and you mention relevant effects on both individuals and businesses, including time and cost savings and online meetings. However, the comparison requested by the question is only partly developed. The first body paragraph discusses the convenience and affordability of public transport, but does not clearly explain the disadvantages of flying less for individuals. The environmental benefit is asserted in phrases such as “destroy our environment” without explaining how fewer flights reduce harm. Examples about “our country” and businessmen remain general. To strengthen the response, explain specific consequences for travellers and businesses, then support the environmental comparison with a clear, relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the “On the one hand” / “On the other hand” structure signals a comparison. However, progression within paragraphs is not always clear: the first paragraph moves from the cost of flying to public transport and then to environmental damage without showing how these points connect to the question. Some linking phrases are awkward or do not express the intended relationship, such as “As a consequences” and “So that.” References such as “this travel methods” also make connections harder to follow. Organise each paragraph around one main point, use linking expressions accurately, and make the conclusion directly summarise the comparison established in the body.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “environmental,” “merchants,” “transporting,” and “beneficial,” but the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices make the meaning difficult to follow. “Demolish the use of flies” appears to mean reducing air travel, while “flies” is repeatedly used instead of “flights” or “planes.” Other unnatural combinations include “spending times,” “true advantage of our nature,” and “abundant of population.” These errors sometimes obscure your intended points, particularly in the opening and environmental discussion. Build a more reliable set of collocations for air travel, emissions, and business travel, and check that each word fits its context. More precise vocabulary would make your ideas clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex structures, for example the concession beginning “though” and the clause “so that they have no need to fly.” However, the range is limited, and errors in sentence construction and agreement occur frequently enough to affect clarity. Examples include “it can causes,” “this travel methods are,” “as far as I am concern,” and “they are not travel frequently.” There are also problems with articles and plural forms, as in “use of plane” and “this websites.” Some sentences join ideas without a clear grammatical relationship, especially in the conclusion. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb forms after auxiliaries, and singular/plural agreement, then proofread each sentence for a complete and clear structure.

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