Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays due to rising environmental concerns, some individuals are trying to either reduce their travel through air, or fully stop flying. Personally, I think that such a development has more negative implications for people and buisnesses as compred to the advantages to environment, but I have discussed both the angles of the development in my essay.

First advantage of this situation can be of reduced carbon emissons. This is because airplanes usually are powerd by petroleum products, which results in release of substantial level of carbon into the skies. As more people will discontinue their air-travel, so the airline bookings will fall down;as a result, the aeroplanes will make lesser journeys each year as compared to previous period, and this could lead to significantly lower carbon emissions which usually take place by use of petroleum products to fuel the flying aircrafts. And for this reason, the Green house gases effect can slow down, eventually favoring the environment by slowed climate change effects such as- urban flooding, crops failure problems.

On the other hand, the cost of increased commuting time for individuals is concerning. Since people who work abroad such as- Pakistanis working in Dubai, commute on regualr basis to their home country through air-travel because it takes quite shorter commuting time of roughly two hours;therefore, if such a trend of decresing air-travel is followed, this can make people to travel through other modes of transport e.g.-Rails or Buses which usually consumes significantly higher travel time. For this reason, workers who visits their home country on speciall ocasions eg-diwali or eid may have to loose much of their holiday time in commuting solely;hence, allowing less time for them to spend quailty time with their loved ones in those celebrations.

Another drawback of this development is of airlines potentially facing losses. For instance, as people will start to witch to alternate modes of transport to air-travel, so this can reduce airline's tickets revenue and as if airlines continue with their existing expenditures of eg-Hangers rent, pilots salaries etc; hence, they can realise losses every year. Whilst if the airlines make staff layoffs, so that create significant job losses in the industry and perhaps people can criticise the businesses for increasing unemployment, which eventually can create negative publicity and futher loss of customer-base for certain airlines.

In my opinion, although the effects of reduced carbon release by taking fewer air-travels by people can save the environment, but the increased commute time for foreign residents and increased financial losses for airline companies makes the drawbacks substancially heavier. Because, alternate modes of trasport eg-railways or buses are mainly fueled by same energy sources which hurts the environment in more or less manner just like air-travel.

To conclude, the drawbacks of reduced air-travel on individuals and firms concerned simply outweighs the advantages to environment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you argue that the disadvantages for individuals and businesses outweigh the environmental benefit. You address both sides and support them with relevant examples, including reduced emissions, migrant workers travelling home, and possible airline losses and job cuts. This meets the task well. To strengthen the response further, develop the comparison more precisely: the claim that buses and railways use similar energy sources is broad and would benefit from qualification or evidence, and the environmental benefit could be weighed against the scale of the personal and business costs. Some consequences, such as reduced airline revenue leading to reputational damage, are also asserted rather than fully explained.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: an introduction states your view, the body paragraphs consider the environmental benefit and two disadvantages, and the conclusion restates your judgement. Paragraphing is appropriate, and examples generally follow the claims they support. You also use a range of linking expressions, such as “On the other hand,” “For this reason,” and “To conclude.” At times, however, connections become mechanical or crowded: the first body paragraph repeatedly links consequences with “as a result,” “and for this reason,” and “eventually,” while the airline paragraph chains several outcomes into one sentence. Use fewer connectors and make the relationship between each claim and its consequence explicit. Clearer sentence boundaries would make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “carbon emissions,” “commuting time,” “alternate modes of transport,” and “customer-base,” which helps convey the main ideas. However, inaccurate spelling, word forms, and collocations are frequent enough to limit precision: examples include “emissons,” “powerd,” “witch to,” “realise losses,” and “the Green house gases effect.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “travel through air” and “cost of increased commuting time.” Aim to use fewer, more reliable expressions and check spelling carefully. More precise wording for the environmental and economic effects would make the argument sound more natural and reduce the effort required to interpret some sentences.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt complex sentences with clauses of cause and result, and you use structures such as “Since people who work abroad… commute…” and “although… but…”. These show an effort to express relationships between ideas, but control is inconsistent. Agreement and verb forms are problematic in examples such as “workers who visits” and “which usually consumes”; the conditional “if such a trend… is followed, this can make people to travel” is also not well formed. Several sentences run together, with punctuation missing around clauses, particularly in the first body paragraph. Practise building complex sentences with one clear main clause, accurate subject–verb agreement, and correctly punctuated subordinate clauses. This will make your meaning more consistently clear.

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