Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.
Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Nowadays, individuals believe that the use of air transport should reduce. This essay intends to delve into much advantages to the environment, than the disadvantages to individuals. Both will mentioned in the forthcoming paragraphs.
On the one hand, there are certain demerits for individuals and businesses to stop the planes. The one will be made up of financial loss. This means that when individuals would travel on air lines, they may easy to travel every where also much convenient. That would not only be drawbacks for the people, it would also be for the businesses to not earn much amount of money of its tickets.
On the other hand, with a view to marits of reducing fly times by people for various ways such as, eco-friendly
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response recognises the topic and attempts to compare environmental benefits with disadvantages, but it does not adequately answer the question. The opening says the essay will discuss “much advantages to the environment,” yet no environmental benefit is actually explained; the final paragraph stops after “eco-friendly,” leaving the main argument unfinished. The disadvantage paragraph mentions convenience for travellers and possible financial losses for businesses, but these points are only briefly stated and not supported with examples or explanation. The position is also unclear: the introduction appears to favour the benefits, but the response does not establish why they outweigh the disadvantages. The required minimum length is not met. Develop both sides and state a clear, supported judgement.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introductory paragraph is followed by a disadvantage paragraph and the start of a benefits paragraph. Signposting such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” helps indicate the intended comparison. However, the progression is incomplete because the final paragraph ends mid-idea, and the essay does not reach a conclusion. Within the disadvantage paragraph, the relationship between individual convenience and business income is not clearly explained, so the reader must infer how the points connect. The opening also promises a discussion of both sides without providing a clear route through the argument. Complete each paragraph around one developed point, use linking phrases to show cause and contrast accurately, and finish with a conclusion that answers the question.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The response shows some topic-related vocabulary, including “air transport,” “financial loss,” “convenient,” and “businesses,” and it attempts more formal phrasing such as “with a view to.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, including “the use of air transport should reduce,” “stop the planes,” and “earn much amount of money of its tickets.” “Marits” is also a spelling error, and “eco-friendly” is left without a complete idea. These choices sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Aim for precise topic vocabulary and natural combinations, for example, “reduce air travel,” “ground flights,” and “lose ticket revenue.” Check spelling and ensure each phrase expresses a complete, relevant point.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response attempts a few complex forms, including “This means that when individuals would travel…” and “That would not only be drawbacks…, it would also be…,” but these structures are not controlled consistently. There are errors in verb forms and sentence construction: “the use of air transport should reduce” needs a passive form or a different construction, while “Both will mentioned” is missing an auxiliary. The phrase “when individuals would travel” uses an unsuitable conditional form, and “That would not only be drawbacks… it would also be…” has faulty parallel structure and agreement. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention, particularly in the unfinished final paragraph. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then build complex sentences with correct auxiliaries, agreement, and parallel phrasing.
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