Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is oftan that some people have decided to decrease the number of times fly every year to stop flying altogether .I think no the surrounding benefits of this development outweigh the disdvantages for individuals and businesses On the one hand the advantage to much the outweigh the disadvantage there is a two main reason , airplane flying is very essential most people are go to one country form second country in business meeting and your country are benefits his goverment to profect and economic stronge.for example every year to much people have go to the sodia arabica and this cause pakistan goverment earn the money and economics are stronge .on the other hand outweigh disadvantage there is a three reason ,firstly some time are not sell all tickets and airplane flying the air on time so airplane compony harm. when tivket all not sell then compony are harm money day by day increase the money and owner one day shutdown the your company. In concuslion , although decided the fly compony owner shutdown and business individual the i agree development outweigh and disadvantage

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a position—“I think no”—and attempt to discuss both benefits and disadvantages, including a business example involving Pakistan and people travelling to Saudi Arabia. However, the response only minimally addresses the question: it does not clearly explain the environmental benefits of reducing flights, and the example focuses on government income rather than weighing environmental gains against effects on individuals and businesses. Your position also becomes unclear in the conclusion, where you say the development “outweigh and disadvantage.” The response is 184 words, so it does not meet the required minimum of 250 words. To improve, state clearly which side outweighs the other, explain relevant environmental effects, and develop each point with a specific explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response, with an opening, phrases such as “On the one hand” and “on the other hand,” and a concluding sentence. These signals show an awareness of how an essay can be structured. However, ideas are not arranged coherently: the first body section moves from business travel to government income without explaining the connection, while the second introduces ticket sales and company losses without clearly linking them to people reducing flights. Several sentences run together, and the conclusion does not resolve the argument. Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, each main argument, and the conclusion; then make each paragraph develop one clear point with logical links between sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “environmental benefits,” “business meeting,” “tickets,” and “company,” so the reader can identify the general subject. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors strain understanding. Examples include “surrounding benefits” for environmental benefits, “airplane flying,” and “economics are stronge.” Some phrases are difficult to interpret, such as “the advantage to much the outweigh the disadvantage.” Choose precise expressions and check spelling and collocations. For instance, describe the environmental impact as “lower carbon emissions,” and refer to “airlines” or “air travel” rather than repeatedly using “airplane flying.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas using longer sentences and basic linking phrases, but grammatical control is limited and errors are frequent enough to obscure meaning in places. For example, “most people are go to one country” has an incorrect verb form, and “your country are benefits his goverment” has problems with agreement, pronouns, and sentence structure. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent, as in “there is a two main reason.” Punctuation is often missing, causing several ideas to run together. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with clauses using “because,” “although,” or “which.” Check subject–verb agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries during revision.

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