Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

I don't think so this will gives the benefits to the envoirment's. Perhaps indvidually get benefitted. There is no relation between fly and envoirment because both are diffrent things.

If, I would talk about disadvantges, about the flight. It required lot of fuel and energy to run the engine and all other mechanism. The basic componenet which is used to run the flight then that is Oil, and it would be extracted from the earth in the form of crued oil. At this point of time it's not usbale after extracting it then it would processed further. After completing each every steps of refinery then finaly it converts into the refine oil. Extraction from earth is indirectly harming the enovirment because it's something like mining.

However after this procees finally the oil can be used to run the engine. Somehow this process harming the nature and envoirment.

Let's come to the point if I will fly every year as a internatinal traveller as a businessman or related to work then I'm not harming directly the envoirment andn nature. Individually I wold try to grow my business at any cost. If a business demand's trip every year obviously I would that.

In conclusion, I think yes this outweigh prevent the harm of the envoirment at some percent but not in major. Moreover the only option we have to fly from one corner to another corner that is flight. Clearly there is no relation between yearly fly and envoirmeent development. I must say there is no disadvantes of fly every year. I have not seen yet anything about to development of envoirment just prohibitted of fly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a position—“I don't think so”—and mention both environmental effects and the needs of business travellers. However, the response only minimally addresses the central comparison of whether environmental benefits outweigh disadvantages. Most of the discussion explains oil extraction and refining, rather than showing how reducing flights would benefit the environment or weighing those benefits against costs to individuals and businesses. The claim that there is “no relation between fly and environment” also conflicts with your later explanation that fuel extraction harms nature, leaving your position unclear. To develop the response, explain how fewer flights could reduce emissions, then compare this with specific consequences such as higher travel costs or fewer business opportunities, and reach a consistent conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure, with an opening, discussion of fuel, a business-related paragraph and a conclusion. Some linking expressions, including “However,” “Let's come to the point” and “In conclusion,” signal movement between sections. Nevertheless, ideas are not arranged in a clear line of reasoning: the opening says flying and the environment are unrelated, the fuel discussion describes environmental harm, and the conclusion returns to the claim that there is no relation. Connections between points are often unclear, and phrases such as “At this point of time” do not clarify the argument. Organise the essay around the two sides of the question, use each paragraph to develop one main point, and make the conclusion follow from that comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “extracted,” “refinery,” “international traveller” and “businessman,” so the reader can identify the general subject. However, vocabulary is basic and often repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors strain understanding: “envoirment,” “diffrent,” “crued oil” and “prohibitted” are examples. Several expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “the only option we have to fly” and “prevent the harm of the environment.” Build accuracy with common environmental and economic terms, and check spelling carefully. More precise phrases such as “reduce carbon emissions” and “business travel” would help you explain the task directly without relying on repeated references to “fly” and “environment.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both short statements and longer sentences, for example, “It required lot of fuel and energy to run the engine” and the sentence beginning “If a business demand's trip every year.” However, the range of structures is limited, and frequent errors in verb forms, articles, agreement and sentence construction sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “this will gives,” “It required lot of fuel,” and “If, I would talk about disadvantages.” Some sentences are fragments or awkwardly joined, particularly the explanation of the refining process. Practise forming clear subject–verb sentences, using conditional structures accurately, and checking articles and verb agreement. Breaking long, uncertain sentences into shorter complete ones will also improve clarity.

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