Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is widespread debate in different communities that due to environmental benefits it is necessary to reduce the usage of air transport .And it can directly effect the individual and business perspective .

There are both opinions about this assumption the if a specific community avoid to go abroad for the safety pf air pollution .

Firstly people think about the air pollution and environmental pollution it reflects their educated thoughts about their country .It reflects about they are sensible.They also put a perfect initiative to control air pollution.

Further more it can also effect the development of some people.It can make loss for their growing business .And also effect their economic growth.It is essential for every type of business to get in touch with whole world to cope with international trending .It can reduce their customer share and get effected international.The purchasing of air ticket is also an expense that can effect their budget .And when an entrepreneur cut his expenditure it can enhance their funds ,their financial capital growth start.They get their position in market soon.So every business man should have awareness about the knowledge about all these terms .

To sum all the above debate it is well aware topic and we must know about all pros and cones of this topic and decide weather it is correct or not to cope with this situation.

And make an exact margin about their business trips is it official or not. And how many number of official delegtions has been carries with them

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response recognises that reducing air travel may benefit the environment and may affect individuals and businesses, so it is connected to the topic. However, it responds only minimally to the central question: it does not clearly state whether the environmental benefits outweigh the disadvantages. The discussion of pollution is brief and general, while the business section shifts between possible losses from fewer international contacts and savings from reduced travel costs without explaining which effect is more important. The final paragraph asks readers to decide rather than giving your own conclusion. To develop the response, state a clear position and support it with specific explanations or examples comparing environmental gains with the effects on people and businesses.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an opening, a discussion of environmental benefits, a section on business effects, and a concluding paragraph. Basic signposts such as “Firstly,” “Further more,” and “To sum all the above debate” help indicate movement between points. However, ideas are not arranged in a consistently logical progression: the business paragraph moves from potential losses to savings without clarifying the relationship, and the ending introduces official delegations without connecting this point to a conclusion. Several sentences repeat the same idea about effects on development and economic growth. Use one paragraph for each main argument, link each supporting detail clearly to its point, and finish by directly answering the outweigh question.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “air pollution,” “economic growth,” “international,” “entrepreneur,” and “financial capital.” These terms show an attempt to discuss environmental and business consequences rather than relying entirely on everyday language. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or unclear, such as “safety pf air pollution,” “get effected international,” and “make an exact margin.” Repetition of “effect” and “business” also restricts precision. Choose collocations that express the intended meaning directly—for example, describe how fewer flights could reduce emissions or limit access to overseas markets. More accurate word forms and spelling would make the argument easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple statements and longer sentences, including “It can make loss for their growing business” and a sentence beginning “It is essential for every type of business…”. However, sentence structures are often incomplete or incorrectly joined, and errors frequently make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. For example, “There are both opinions about this assumption the if…” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “And make an exact margin…” is a fragment rather than a complete sentence. There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement, and verb forms, as in “a specific community avoid” and “has been carries.” Practise building complete subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check punctuation.

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