Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

some individuals claim that they decrease the level of travelling through aeroplane in a year and also fully bicot against the travel in flights.this essay will discussed both advantages and disadvantages of this trend.while many people diffused this opportunity to travel in an aeroplane to effect on the environment hardly and pollute air by the burning of fuels in the atmosphere.

one the one hand,the advntages of this bicot is to remain their atmosphere clean and healthy and less consumption of carbon dioxide.by this, the people remain healthy without interuption of any air pollution in their breathing.the atmosphere is also clean and less hot because of less burning of fuel in air.for instance:in advanced countries,people use public transport instead of their own private vehicles but for some important uses or needs to travel another country they also travel in a flight.

one the other hand,the disadvantages to the reduction of less travel in a flight produce more problems like discomfort in a travel process also a great loss in the business and the progress of country.by this,people feel their travelling a very difficult because of less comfortable in a seats.for example:in under developing countries like egypt,vatican city and more countries,individuals of these countries face more trouble in a travelling and migrated to the advanced countries to enjoy their life fully and independently.

in conclusion,i think some individuals decided to reduce the number of fly can effect on the people life. people feel discomfort in a travelling without air travellance or in flights also loss in economy of country,fuel burn in atmosphere also dangerous for the health of individuals but it has less effect on the land population.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address the topic by discussing both environmental benefits and possible disadvantages, and your conclusion indicates that you see reduced flying as having costs for people and the economy. However, the question asks whether the environmental benefits outweigh those disadvantages, and your position on this comparison is not clearly established or consistently explained. The environmental points—less fuel burning, cleaner air and possible health benefits—are relevant, but some claims are unclear or unsupported. The disadvantages focus on discomfort and economic loss, yet the examples about migration and particular countries do not clearly show how reduced flights cause these effects. To strengthen the response, state your judgement directly and develop a few relevant reasons with clear explanations and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting opposing sides, and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the broad direction of the discussion. You also use basic linking expressions such as “one the one hand,” “one the other hand,” and “in conclusion.” However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, and the links between claims are not always clear. For example, the point about public transport in advanced countries does not clearly support the preceding claim about reduced flying, while the migration example shifts away from the effect of fewer flights. Some transitions are repetitive or awkward. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, then explain its consequence and give an example that directly supports it.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “carbon dioxide,” “air pollution,” “consumption,” and “economy,” so the reader can identify the general subject of your argument. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make meaning unclear. Phrases such as “bicot against the travel in flights,” “diffused this opportunity,” and “air travellance” are not natural or precise in this context. There are also spelling errors, including “advntages” and “interuption.” Aim to use straightforward, accurate topic vocabulary rather than forcing unfamiliar expressions. Learning common combinations such as “reduce air travel,” “burning aviation fuel,” and “economic impact” would make your ideas clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You make some attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences, and the response includes both simple statements and clauses introduced by words such as “because” and “while.” However, control of sentence structure is inconsistent, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries often make the reader work to understand the meaning. For example, “this essay will discussed” has an incorrect verb form, while “the advantages … is” has a subject–verb agreement problem. Several sentences run together without appropriate capitalisation or punctuation, as in the opening paragraph. Use shorter, complete sentences first, checking that each has a clear subject and correctly formed verb; then add complex clauses where the relationship between ideas is clear.

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