Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether.

Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Travelling is crutial factor for pupils.Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year.In my prespective I dont think so it has environment benefits because air travel is the safest and less poluted mode of travel comparative to other means of transport.In addition people usually prefer air travel thought its costly neverther less poluted and safety is its first priority.Air travel benefits environment as compared to other means of tranport for intance buses and trains.Buses and trains make the environment more polluted and due to this its affects the climate change and emmisions of gases that are harmful.Where as it has a drawback in terms of bussiness as air tavel is time constraint.In bussinesses prespection every seconds counts so air travel is best way to avail.However for individuals they may lose job as other means of tranport is double the time they reach on their required destitation for bussiness purpose.In conclusion reduing number of times to fly is not an appropriate decision specially in terms of bussiness point of you due to time management and professionality.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a clear overall view that reducing flights is not appropriate, and you mention possible environmental effects as well as consequences for businesses and individuals. However, the response only minimally answers the central comparison: it does not explain whether environmental benefits outweigh the disadvantages, and the claim that planes are less polluting than buses and trains is asserted without evidence or qualification. The discussion of individuals is also brief and unclear, while the business point about time is repeated rather than developed with an example. The response is 168 words, so it is 82 words short of the 250-word minimum; 14 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each side with reasons and relevant examples, then state explicitly which side outweighs the other.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic sequence from an opening opinion to supporting points and a conclusion, and linking expressions such as “In addition,” “However,” and “In conclusion” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, the response is presented as one continuous paragraph, so the environmental argument and the business and individual disadvantages are not clearly separated. Several links are difficult to follow: “Where as it has a drawback” does not clearly identify what “it” refers to, and the relationship between the claims about pollution and climate change is unclear. The conclusion repeats the position without drawing together the comparison. Use separate paragraphs for the environmental case, disadvantages, and conclusion, and make each transition and reference explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “environment,” “polluted,” “climate change,” “emissions,” and “time constraint,” which helps communicate the general topic. The range is nevertheless limited, and repeated use of “air travel,” “means of transport,” and “business” makes the argument sound repetitive. Several spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “crutial,” “prespective,” “neverther less,” and “destitation”; these can slow the reader. Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “air travel benefits environment” and “businesses prespection.” Build a more precise set of topic phrases and check spelling and collocations. For example, describe the environmental impact as “greenhouse-gas emissions” and refer to “business operations” rather than relying on repeated general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences using “because,” “as,” and “whereas,” and the reader can usually identify your main point. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and attempts at complex sentences are often faulty. For example, “I dont think so it has environment benefits” has an unclear clause structure, while “Buses and trains make the environment more polluted and due to this its affects” contains an incorrect pronoun and an awkwardly joined clause. There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement, and punctuation, as in “Travelling is crutial factor” and the missing spaces after full stops. Practise forming clear subject–verb clauses, then combine them accurately with subordinators; proofread sentence boundaries and article use.

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