Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many aspects of the way people dress today are influenced by global fashion trends.

How has global fashion become such a strong influence on people's lives? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Although the fashion trends are enjoyable to some extent, the pressure on the young generation to be adaptive, is concerning. Due to the globalization and effects of cultural diversity, people are highly influenced to follow these trends, thus feel to be the part of the fashion community.

Nowadays people spend most of their time in the social media where the celebrities and influencers are constantly promoting different brands and initiating new style. Those who are fond of those famous individuals, feel obligted to purchase and copy those trends. Consequtively, they post their outfits and get response from the online platforms. This tendency is commonly found in young people. Furthermore, peer pressure is another contributing factor. To be on the same page with others, people choose to follow such trends.

However, this growing obsession has disadvantages such as seeking continuous validation from others, avoiding personal preferences and comfort which outweigh it's benefits anyway. When a large number of population prefer the ongoing styles, one may feel the pressure to be on the same boat as them. He/she possesses the urge to get positive feedback always, which is not of course a common scenario. As a result, they become physically and mentally frustrated from the fear of abandonment. This loop continues untill their comfort become compromised and their self esteem drop sharply.

In conclusion, global fashion trend has shaped the clothing indutry in a different way, nevertheless, the effect of it on general people is more severe.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have addressed both parts of the prompt by discussing the influence of social media and celebrities, and expressing a clear negative view on the development. However, the response is slightly under the 250-word minimum, which limits the depth of your arguments. While you mention peer pressure and the desire for validation, these points could be expanded with more specific examples or a more thorough exploration of the consequences. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not fully synthesize the main points discussed in the body paragraphs. To improve, ensure you meet the word count to allow for a more comprehensive development of your ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the causes of fashion influence to the negative impacts. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'However', and 'As a result' to link your sentences. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by minor mechanical errors, and some transitions feel slightly repetitive. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the final paragraph is underdeveloped, which affects the overall coherence of the conclusion. Strengthening the links between sentences and ensuring each paragraph has a robust concluding thought would improve the cohesion of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'globalization', 'cultural diversity', 'validation', and 'self-esteem'. There are some spelling errors, such as 'obligted', 'Consequtively', 'untill', and 'indutry', which are noticeable. Additionally, some collocations are slightly awkward, such as 'feel to be the part of the fashion community' instead of 'feel part of the fashion community'. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, you should aim to use more precise collocations and ensure accurate spelling to reach a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as the conditional 'When a large number of population prefer...' and the use of 'Although' at the beginning of the essay. There are several grammatical errors, including 'the social media' (should be 'social media'), 'a large number of population' (should be 'a large part of the population'), and 'it's benefits' (should be 'its'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some issues with comma usage. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles.

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