Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many aspects of the way people dress today are influenced by global fashion trends.

How has global fashion become such a strong influence on people's lives? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Unboudtedly, it is widely acknowleged that a significant number of mortals intrested in fashion trends by global. This essay intends to dicuss overall positive development .Which i am going to elaborate in upcoming paragraph.

Analyzing the main point view of positive development why populance influenced by global fashion trends due to, personality change which individual look attractive. To be more clear, personality plays very profound role in everyone life. In contempory world, its very fruitfull thing for populance change their looks. which they look attractive and change their looks according to the time . For instance, when a person go to in organization they change their look .Because they change their personality according enivironment in firms. Moreover, when the personality of people is good they easily make bound with others. Consequently, its very beneficial for populance change their personality and look attractive.

Analyzing the another aspect

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You state a positive view, and the point that fashion can help people look attractive and adapt their appearance to a workplace is relevant. However, the response addresses the question only minimally: it does not explain how global fashion became influential, such as through social media, advertising, celebrities, or international brands. The positive effects are repeated rather than developed with clear reasoning or a specific example, and the final line, “Analyzing the another aspect,” leaves the response unfinished. The required minimum of 250 words is not met; at 146 words, there is too little space to develop both parts of the question. To improve, explain the causes of fashion’s influence and support your view with developed examples, while completing a conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening gives your position, and the next paragraph discusses a benefit. Connectors such as “For instance,” “Moreover,” and “Consequently” show an effort to guide the reader. However, progression is limited because several sentences repeat the idea that changing one’s appearance is beneficial, while the cause of global influence is not introduced. The standalone phrase “Analyzing the another aspect” does not develop into a paragraph, so the response has no completed ending. Some links are also awkward or unclear, for example “due to, personality change.” Build a clear sequence—causes, effects, and your judgement—and use each paragraph to add a distinct point rather than restating the same one.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “fashion trends,” “personality,” “attractive,” and “environment,” and the reader can generally identify your intended positive argument. There are also attempts at less common or formal wording, such as “profound role” and “consequently.” However, spelling errors are frequent, including “Unboudtedly,” “acknowleged,” “intrested,” and “contempory,” and several word choices or collocations are unnatural: “mortals interested in fashion trends by global” and “make bound with others.” Repetition of “change their looks” and “personality” limits range. Aim for accurate, natural phrases such as “people are influenced by global trends,” “adapt their appearance,” and “build relationships,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a reason introduced by “because” and a result introduced by “Consequently.” However, sentence boundaries and basic grammatical patterns are often inaccurate. The opening contains a fragment after “development,” and “Which i am going to elaborate” is not a complete sentence. Other examples include “a significant number of mortals intrested” (missing a verb), “when a person go,” and “in everyone life.” Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in the lowercase “i” and the full stop before “Which.” These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise complete subject–verb sentences, agreement, articles, and punctuation, then check each sentence for a clear main clause.

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