Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In today's modern world, majority of people are influcing by new trends such as smoking, wearing or buying expersive things and eat outside. I full agree with this opinion that one of the habit's smoking can lead to serious illnesses for a long term, so it should be banned illegally. I will dicuss some reasons and relavant examples in the upcoming pharagraphs.

There has a serval reasons that's why I agreed with this point of view. First of all, smoking is extremely harmful for human health, and causes serious dieases such as lung cancer, breathing difficulties and heart dieases. It also can reduce life expectancy. Moreover, treating thease dieases can be very expersive for a long term medical care. For example, people who smoke for many years, they have to spend a huge amount to money of their health recovery. Even sometime they lost their a life. Therefore, banning smoking could help to improve people health and save money.

Secondly, smoking does not only affect smokers but also harms people around them. This is becasue non-smoker can inhale second-hand smoke, which is also dangerous for their health. Children, pregnant women and elderly people are also affected by smoking. For instance, children lives with their parsents who smoke may face breathing difficulities and other health problems. I believe everyone has the right to breathe clean air, so the government should introduce strict laws to protect the public.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that smoking should be made illegal because it causes serious health problems and negatively affects innocents people. A complete ban, along with publich awareness campaigns, could help create a healthier and safer society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction, where you say you “full agree,” and it remains consistent in the conclusion. You address the central issue by explaining health risks to smokers and the harm caused to others through second-hand smoke. The examples involving children, pregnant women and older people help support your argument, and you also mention possible savings in healthcare costs. To strengthen the response further, develop the case for making smoking illegal rather than mainly explaining why it is harmful. For example, consider whether a complete ban is practical, how it could be enforced, or why regulation alone would not be enough. This would make the reasoning more fully extended and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion that restates your view. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow, while “For example” introduces relevant support. The ideas within each paragraph generally follow a logical order, moving from a claim to its explanation and example. To make the organisation more polished, avoid formulaic signposting and connect related points more naturally. The opening list of trends, including “wearing or buying expensive things,” does not clearly lead into the argument about smoking; a more direct opening would create a stronger link between the introduction and the essay’s main points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “life expectancy,” “second-hand smoke,” “breathing difficulties,” and “public awareness campaigns,” which helps communicate the main ideas. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word choices are noticeable throughout and sometimes make the reader pause: examples include “influcing,” “dieases,” “expersive,” and “innocents people.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “banned illegally” and “a huge amount to money of their health recovery.” Aim to learn accurate word forms and common collocations, and proofread carefully. More precise language for discussing policy—such as enforcement, restrictions, or public-health measures—would also help you express the argument with greater flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including cause-and-effect structures with “because” and “so,” and a relative clause in “people who smoke for many years.” However, grammatical errors are frequent, and some sentences are difficult to interpret. For example, “There has a serval reasons” has an incorrect verb construction, while “children lives with their parsents” has a subject–verb agreement error. The sentence “people who smoke for many years, they have to spend…” also uses an unnecessary second subject. Articles, plurals and sentence construction need attention as well. Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, checking agreement and verb forms in each one.

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