Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Smoking undoubtedly makes a major contribution to the significant incline in incidence of various pulmonary diseases like COPD and Lung cancer in recent years.Many believe that smoking should be made illegal to combat the rising concerns on health hazzards, smoking is held accountable for.This eassy will examine the merits and demerits of taking the aforesaid step to improve public health and how the disadvantages can outweigh the advantages.

To begin with, smoking has always been an easy means of mild addiction with major health hazzards. Imposing government prohibition can only result to increased illegal trades to meet the rising demand of the proportion of the population who have already become addicted to smoking. It can lead to public hinderance of the smokers for being indulging into an illegal act.This might hamper the professional productivity of the smokers and thereby affect the national economy.

On the other hand, steps to generate mass awareness on health hazzards of chronic chain smoking can bring about a considerable positive impact on the society. Mass telecommunication media can play a cruicial role in reaching out to large population. This can be an inexpensive strategy to generate public awareness in the shortest time possible. Regular sessions conducted by health experts at schools and corporate offices can help to train individuals to avoid smoking.

In conclusion illegalising smoking can only induce a short term remedy to improve public health only untill smokers find a way to acheive it through illegal means where as assurance of mass health awareness can lead to long term sustainable means of cutting down the number of smokers worldwide. `

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address the central question by arguing against making smoking illegal and proposing public education as a better response. The discussion of prohibition potentially encouraging illegal trade is relevant, and the conclusion restates your preference for a long-term approach. However, the position is not fully consistent: the introduction says the essay will weigh advantages and disadvantages, while the body mainly presents drawbacks of prohibition and benefits of awareness. The claim that prohibition would harm smokers’ productivity and the national economy is asserted rather than explained or supported with an example. Develop this reasoning and directly compare the likely effects of legal prohibition with education or other measures so that all parts of the argument are more fully addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs signposted by “To begin with” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. The main ideas are generally presented in a logical order, so the reader can follow the broad argument. However, the progression is sometimes mechanical, and the introduction’s promise to examine both merits and demerits is not clearly fulfilled in the body. Some links between claims need to be made explicit: for example, explain how public hindrance of smokers would lead to reduced professional productivity and then affect the economy. The final sentence is long and difficult to follow, and punctuation spacing around sentence boundaries is inconsistent. Use clearer transitions and divide complex points into manageable sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related and formal vocabulary, including “pulmonary diseases,” “prohibition,” “public awareness,” and “sustainable.” These choices show an effort to express ideas beyond basic language. However, inaccurate spelling and collocation reduce precision: “significant incline in incidence” is awkward, “health hazzards” is misspelled, and “public hinderance” does not clearly express the intended idea. There are also unnatural combinations such as “easy means of mild addiction” and “mass telecommunication media.” Choose familiar, accurate collocations rather than reaching for elaborate phrasing, and check spelling carefully. More precise wording would make the argument sound clearer and more natural without requiring unusually advanced vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including a relative clause in “the population who have already become addicted” and a conditional structure in “where smokers find a way…”. Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems remain. For example, the opening sentence lacks a space after the full stop, and “Imposing government prohibition can only result to…” uses an incorrect verb pattern. The final sentence combines several ideas with “whereas” and “only” in a way that makes the structure difficult to follow. Review verb patterns, sentence boundaries, and clause structure, and use full stops to separate ideas when a sentence becomes overloaded. This would improve accuracy while preserving your attempts at complex sentences.

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