Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.
To what extent do you agree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, Smoking is critical issues in the world. In Recent scenario youngsters too much doing smoking and drinking alcohol. So that guys have a minor age have health problems.
Firstly, I am strongly agree with this point if people doing smoke or drink drugs then for sure they guys survive in serious health. this all things causes our broken our lungs, stomach several issues, diabetes , different types of cancer.
Secondly, I am giving one of best my family member example my grandfather has stomach cancer last three years. He can not able to eat anything. He needs to take only plain water and fruits juice. He is also taking medicine everyday but still stomach is burning and painful. One day book an appointment and visit to doctor. According to our family physician told me he need to do operation this last stage of cancer. If our operation is success then he can live five years more but i can not give promise.
Finally, We did operation and it will be success. after my grand come to my house and next month my grandfather die because of heart-attack. In this case my full family disturb and grandfather struggling this serious illness.
To conclude, smoking can causes illness. So, Strictly government needs to band for any type of smoking and drinking alcohol. People live life longer and stay healthy. In my country is safe no more smoking. If you are find any person so they needs to pay charge to the government.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt by expressing a clear position in favor of banning smoking. However, the development of ideas is limited. The personal anecdote about the grandfather is overly detailed and narrative-focused rather than argumentative, which detracts from the analytical depth required for an IELTS essay. The arguments regarding the health impacts are somewhat repetitive and lack a broader societal perspective. To improve, you should focus on developing logical arguments about the economic or public health benefits of a ban, rather than relying solely on a personal story. The conclusion attempts to summarize the position but introduces new, slightly confusing ideas about enforcement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the progression of ideas is often disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate, such as the transition 'In this case my full family disturb'. The relationship between sentences is frequently unclear, making the reader work harder to follow the logic. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'nevertheless') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly supports your main argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is quite limited and often repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'doing smoke', 'broken our lungs', and 'pay charge'. These errors occasionally impede the flow of the text. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas clearly. To reach a higher band, you should work on learning collocations (words that naturally go together) and avoid literal translations from your native language. Expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary related to health and government policy would also be very beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the message. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'smoking can causes'), incorrect verb tenses, and sentence fragments (e.g., 'One day book an appointment'). There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the simple sentences used often contain errors. Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, you should focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and a correctly conjugated verb. Reviewing the use of articles and prepositions would also help reduce the frequency of errors.
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