Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

`NOWADAYS, WE CAN SEE THAT PEOPLE ALLOVER THE WORLD USALLY SMOKE CIGERATTES AND VAPES. WHICH IS COMMON IN TODAYS TIME, AND IT CAUSE SERIOUS HARM TO THERE BODIES AND WHICH SHOULD BE MADE ILLEGAL. I AM STRONGLY AGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT WHICH WILL BE EXPLAINED IN UPCOMING PARAGRAPHS.

FIRSTLY, AS WE ALL KNOW THAT SMOKIN IS COMMON NOWADAYS AND IT VARRIES FROM DIFFERNT AGE GROUPS PEOPLE. AS THEY DON'T KNOW THAT HOW MUCH A SMOKING CAN EFFECT THERE HEALTH MAKE THERE LUNGS DAMAGED AND CAN FACE PROBLEM ON BREATHING, MOREOVER HEAVY SMOKING MAKES BLOOD THICKER WHICH CAN MAKE THERE BLOOD PRESSURE HIGH AND CAN CAUSE HEART ATTACK. FOR INSTANCE, MY FRIEND KUSHAL USED TO SMOKE ALOT OF VAPES AND CIGRETTES. ONE DAY WE PLANNED TO GO ON HIKING AND WHEN WE START HIKING HE WAS FEELING GOOD AFTER 1 HOUR HE START FACING PROBLEM IN BREATHING AND THE SITUTAION GOT WORSE WE WENT TO HOSPITAL AND DOCTOR SAID THAT HIS LUNGS ARE 80% DAMAGED BEACISE OF SMOKING AND IF MY FREIND KUSHAL DID NOT QUIT IS IT THEM SMOKING WILL AFFECT HIS LUNGS.

HOWEVER, WE CAN REQUEST THE GOVERNMENT TO STOP BAN SMOKING THERE COUNTRIES BEACUSE IT IS CAUSING SERIOUS HEALTH DAMAGE TO PEOPLE. IF THEY DON'T DO IT PEOPLE WILL GET ADDICTED TOWARDS SMOKING AND IT WILL TOUGH TO STOP THEM FROM SMOKING.

IN CONCULSION, I THINK THAT IF WANT TO PROTECT HEALTH OF THE PEOPLE GOVERNMENT SHOULD APPLY BAN ON THE SMOKING OR COME WITH THE ALTERNATIVE SOULTION. AS WE ALL KNOW THAT HOW MUCH DAMAGE CAUSED BY THE SMOKING.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position in favor of banning smoking. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide a personal example regarding a friend, the argument lacks depth regarding the broader societal or economic implications of such a ban. The conclusion is brief and repeats the main point without adding further insight. To improve, ensure that each paragraph explores a distinct aspect of the argument—such as public health costs or the rights of individuals—rather than focusing primarily on personal anecdotes. The position is consistent, but the supporting arguments need more academic rigor and elaboration to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'However', and 'In conclusion' to signal transitions. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by repetitive sentence structures and a lack of varied linking words. For example, the transition between the health effects and the personal anecdote is abrupt. To improve, try to use a wider range of cohesive devices, such as 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'despite this', and ensure that pronouns clearly refer back to the intended nouns to avoid ambiguity.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. You rely on simple terms like 'common', 'bad', and 'problem'. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'USALLY', 'CIGERATTES', 'BEACISE', and 'SOULTION', which occasionally distract the reader. To achieve a higher score, you should aim to incorporate more precise, topic-specific vocabulary related to health and public policy. Avoid using informal language and focus on accurate spelling, as frequent errors in basic vocabulary can limit your score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it cause serious harm'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'start facing'), and punctuation errors, such as using full stops where commas or conjunctions are needed. The misuse of articles and prepositions is also noticeable. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors indicate a lack of control over complex structures. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and sentence boundaries will significantly improve your writing.

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