Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The role of masses in getting that the Smoking is bad for human body and it should be banned is widely debated with many people claiming that the benefits it offers are no match with its drawbacks and i will explain why in this eassay.

The first and foremost is that it creates breathing problems as human beings are smoking on regular basis, which is harming their internal parts of body like liver, kidneys. Due to time masses bodies become more low and when they enhaling air it hurts them. for example the survey conducted by World Health Organisation in bihar revealed that 90% percent of population having a serious diseases because of smoking.

The another aspect is that

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response is significantly under-length, failing to meet the 250-word minimum requirement. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. The introduction attempts to set up a position, but the essay is incomplete, stopping abruptly in the second paragraph. The ideas presented, such as the health impacts of smoking, are relevant but remain severely under-developed due to the lack of completion. To improve, you must ensure you provide a full argument with clear supporting points and a conclusion, adhering to the word count constraints to allow for sufficient development of your ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay lacks a coherent structure because it is unfinished. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the abrupt ending prevents any logical progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used in a very basic and sometimes mechanical way, such as 'The first and foremost is that' and 'The another aspect is that'. The lack of a conclusion and the incomplete nature of the second paragraph mean that the overall organization is not effectively managed. To improve, focus on planning your essay structure before writing to ensure all sections are completed logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and often imprecise. Phrases like 'getting that the Smoking is bad' and 'internal parts of body' are unnatural and lack the academic tone required for IELTS. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'masses bodies become more low' and 'enhaling'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas clearly. To improve, focus on learning collocations (e.g., 'detrimental effects' instead of 'bad') and using more precise terminology related to health and social issues.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The grammar is characterized by frequent errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with article usage ('the Smoking'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, 'human beings are smoking on regular basis' should be 'human beings smoke on a regular basis'. The sentence structure is simplistic, and there is a lack of control over complex grammatical forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with capitalization and sentence boundaries. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms.

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