Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is an undeniable fact that smoking kills people via serious illnesses. Some people argue that it should be made illegal to sell and consume cigarettes. This essay will explain how banning a smoking will impact the jobs of people, who are involved in the farming of the tabacco and work in factories, where these products are manufactured. I totally disagree with this statement.

First and foremost, smoking has been part of many cultures for centuries. Making it illegal can cause a serious damge to the people emotions. Some people have genrational traditions, where smoking is seen as status symbol. Elites smoke the expensive products and middle class rely on the economaic one. In addition to this, young genration thinks they can look cool via doing it. Moreoever, everyone is aware of the side-effects of this habit as they might already have some health issues like lung cancer. Despite this, they refused to stop and keep playing with their own well-being. Even though the government can make it illegal to sell, people will find it in black market, as a result , the government will loss the tax money from the sale.

Furthermore, like other items such as liquoir and canabis, which is danagerous for the human health, still shops are selling it widely as it is legal. Many peolpe who works in the process of production of farming, harvesting and making a cigarettes from raw materials will loss their jobs. For these individuals, there might not be any other alternative to earn money for living. Their surrounding and geographical location is not able to support any other crops. For example in Kabal, farmers are only growing poppy crop as other crops are unable to withstand the harsh weather conditions.

In conclusion, not only people are aware of the harmful effects of smoking, but also heavily rely on it for the earning. Hence, making it illegal can cause an unbalance in the lives of the people who are depending on it for their daily earning. People are aware of degrading effects can stop smoking by themselves.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position against banning smoking. The ideas are relevant, focusing on economic consequences and cultural aspects. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The argument regarding 'cultural traditions' and 'status symbols' is a bit weak and lacks logical depth. The economic argument is better developed, though the example of poppy farming in Kabul is slightly tangential to the global context of tobacco. Overall, the position is consistent, but the supporting arguments could be more thoroughly explored to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central theme. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'First and foremost', 'In addition to this', and 'Furthermore', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing or punctuation errors, such as the space before the comma in 'result , the government'. Referencing is generally clear, but the progression of ideas within paragraphs could be smoother to ensure a more natural flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'harvesting', 'raw materials', and 'economic consequences'. However, there are several spelling errors ('damge', 'genrational', 'economaic', 'liquoir', 'canabis', 'danagerous', 'peolpe') and minor collocation issues ('look cool via doing it'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the score as they demonstrate a lack of precision in spelling and word choice.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('people who works', 'farmers are only growing') and article usage ('the farming of the tabacco', 'the black market'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several misplaced commas and missing articles. While the meaning remains clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band, as the control over complex structures is not yet consistent.

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