Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.
To what extent do you agree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In this modern era people usually do drugs which can cause Serious Sickness especially by smoking, this should be illegal. I am totally agree with this and incoming paragraphs i will justify my answer.
To start with, Smoking has so many disadvantages, Especially with the mental health. To elaborate it, Smoking is one of the reason people loose their memory day by day and they do not know what happens around them. For example, According to studies, In Australia, around 35% people do drugs and some of them made homeless because they did not have ability to work, They normally loose their memory and do not want to work. Overall, Smoking is harmful for mental health.
Furthermore, People become addicted to it and then waste their money on smoking. To explicate, Individuals who are addicted to smoking they spend money on it everyday and waste their money. For instance, Some people do low wage jobs and earn less then they spend that money on drugs such as smoking which is totally wastage which they can spend on groceries for better health too but they chose to spend on smoking. To conclude, Smoking is wastage of money.
Thus, smoking should be illegal as it is very dangerous for mental health and also it is a waste of money.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you clearly state your position in the introduction, the arguments regarding mental health and financial waste are underdeveloped and rely on questionable generalizations, such as the claim that smoking is a primary cause of memory loss. The supporting examples lack depth and relevance to the prompt's core argument about legality. To improve, you must expand your arguments with more logical reasoning and ensure you meet the length requirement to allow for a fully developed response.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'To start with', 'To elaborate it', 'To explicate'). The progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph where the link between smoking and memory loss is not clearly explained. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each sentence flows logically from the previous one, rather than relying on formulaic transitions.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for basic communication but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on simple, repetitive terms like 'waste' and 'smoking'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'do drugs' (which is usually reserved for illicit substances, not tobacco) and 'Serious Sickness' (which should be 'serious illnesses'). To improve, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary related to health and social policy, and pay closer attention to how words are used in context to avoid unnatural phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'some of them made homeless'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'they loose their memory'), and punctuation errors, such as unnecessary capitalization and comma splices. The sentence 'I am totally agree with this' is a common error; it should be 'I totally agree'. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb tense consistency and article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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