Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.
To what extent do you agree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Nowadays, consumption of cigarettes has increased tremendously across the globe. many people believe it should be made illegal. Others hold the formal view. I firmly agree with view that it should be banned because it can cause serious illnesses among all age group.
Many people believe that smoking is injurious to health. This is primarily because it causes irreversible damage to lungs. It majorly damages the lung tissues. As a result, the oxygen carrying capacity of lungs significantly reduces. Therefore, individuals with regular exposure to smoking are more prone to diseases such as asthma, TB and can lead to lung cancer. For example, A study conducted in Oxford University revealed that chronic smokers have extremely less life expectancy compared to the nonsmokers. Therefore, the only way to reduce its impact it should be made illegal.
Furthermore, I strongly believe that governments should implement strict regulations against the vendors. This is needed because a lot of young adults get influenced by elders and film stars and start smoking from a very young age. For instance, A study conducted in Oxford University revealed that in last decade the cases of lung diseases has significantly increased among adults, due to high consumption of cigarettes. Moreover, a large number of medical resources are being used to overcome this impact. Therefore, smoking should be made illegal across the globe.
In conclusion, although a great amount of money is generated through tax by consumption of cigarette. I strongly believe it should be banned especially for young adults as it can affects their physical and mental wellbeing.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The arguments regarding health risks and the influence of media on young adults are relevant and developed. However, the development is somewhat repetitive, particularly the reliance on the same 'Oxford University' study example in two separate paragraphs, which weakens the depth of the argument. To reach a higher band, you should provide more varied evidence or nuanced reasoning. The conclusion is slightly contradictory, as it suggests a partial ban ('especially for young adults') rather than the total ban implied by the prompt, which slightly undermines the consistency of your position.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'As a result', and 'In conclusion' are used to link ideas, though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. There are minor issues with referencing; for instance, in the first paragraph, 'Others hold the formal view' is unclear as it does not specify what that view is. Overall, the progression of ideas is easy to follow, but the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of cohesive links rather than relying on standard sentence starters.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common items like 'tremendously', 'irreversible', and 'wellbeing'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'hold the formal view' is unnatural in this context, and 'extremely less life expectancy' should be 'significantly lower life expectancy'. Additionally, there is some repetition of basic phrases like 'made illegal' and 'consumption of cigarettes'. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing by using synonyms or paraphrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include: 'all age group' (should be 'all age groups'), 'it can affects' (should be 'it can affect'), and 'in last decade' (should be 'in the last decade'). There are also punctuation errors, such as the sentence fragment in the conclusion: 'although a great amount of money is generated... I strongly believe...'. These errors do not impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing the accuracy of subject-verb agreement and article usage is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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