Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

There has been an ongoing debate about whether smoking should be banned completely as it is injurious to health and can cause serious health issues. I completely agree with this view because smoking is causing infertility in humans and is also a major reason for breathing difficulties in adults.

To commence with, the main reason why smoking should be made illegal is that it is affecting the birthrate in several countries. To elaborate, since smoking is related to poor sperm quality in mens, birthrates have fallen significantly down around the globe. Moreover due to reducing birthrates, many European countries are facing shortages in workforce. Some have started working on their contingencies plans such as immigrating people from other countries to run their economies. For example, Japan is facing the biggest population crises in the history. Moreover, in a survey conducted by the Heath Department of Japan, it was found that 92% of their workforce smoke due to work related stress.

In addition to this, smoking is also a major reason for breathing issues. To expound, since smoking leads to accumulation of nicotine in our lungs, they loose their immunity. Although, it is medically possible to extract nicotine from lungs, it is an expensive procedure. Furthermore, they become highly vulnerable to infections such as asthma and bronchitis. Consequently, leading to breathing problems. For instance, some Asian countries like India and China have always topped the charts of breathing related patients due to high consumption of cigarettes.

To conclude, this essay has highlighted that reason why smoking should be made illegal such as declining population and rising patients with lungs related problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have clearly stated your position in the introduction and maintained it throughout the essay. The ideas are relevant to the prompt, focusing on health and demographic consequences. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat uneven. For instance, the link between smoking and workforce shortages in Europe is a bit tangential to the core argument of health-related illegality. Additionally, some claims, such as the 92% smoking rate in Japan's workforce, appear to be unsupported generalizations that lack nuance. To reach a higher band, ensure that every supporting point directly reinforces your central argument and provide more logical, well-reasoned explanations rather than relying on potentially inaccurate statistics.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with,' 'In addition to this,' and 'Consequently' to guide the reader. However, the use of these markers is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the transition between the idea of birthrates and the workforce shortage in Europe feels a bit abrupt. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be improved by ensuring that each sentence flows more naturally into the next rather than relying on standard linking phrases.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'injurious,' 'contingencies,' and 'vulnerable.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and minor errors. For example, 'mens' should be 'men,' 'fallen significantly down' is unnatural, and 'loose their immunity' should be 'lose their immunity.' Furthermore, 'Heath Department' is a spelling error. While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the inaccuracies in collocation and word form prevent the language from being consistently precise. Focusing on correct word forms and natural collocations will help improve your score in this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'the biggest population crises' (should be 'crisis'), 'due to reducing birthrates' (should be 'due to reduced birthrates'), and 'leading to breathing problems' (a sentence fragment). While these errors do not impede overall communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher band. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, pluralization, and ensuring that your complex sentences are grammatically complete.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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