Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The debate over smoking is responsible for harmfull diseases such as chronic disease, asthma and cancer has attracted in the recent years. I strongly believe that it ought to be entirely ban in our society. This mainly beacuse it is not only cause unbearable disease but also make a differnce in their socal life negataviely.

The main reason for that view is the overwhelming financial strain that smoking realted illnesses impose on national heath services. In other words, when million of residents develop lung cancer or heart realted diseases due to prolonged use of tobacco use, government are force to allocate a larage proportion of their budget towards expensive treatment and post surgical treatment. For instance, according to the Conference Board of Canada, they are spending around 6.1 billion every year to treat smoking-realted treatments, while they can use this money to other sector such as education, infrastructure and home shelter for senior citzen. Therefor, it is must to take some critcal step to reslove this issue to some extent.

Furthermore, I would argue that smoking is mot personal choice baecuse it dirctly affects the heath of passive smokesr such as young children, pregnenyt women and senior adult withot any smoking habit that why it is not fair for other people. For instance, last year ontrio province of of canada strictly baned the use of cigrate or vaping in pubice area. According to recent study, they notice that the number of lungs realted are reduced 60 percent to 25 percent, which was great achievement for local govenment.

In Conclusion, I remain convinced that banning of smoking will be signifcant step toward imporove the healh of individual and society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position in favor of banning smoking. The ideas are relevant, focusing on financial strain on healthcare and the impact on passive smokers. However, the development is somewhat uneven. While the financial argument is supported with a specific example, the second body paragraph relies on anecdotal evidence and slightly confusing statistics (e.g., '60 percent to 25 percent'). The position is consistent throughout, but the depth of analysis could be improved by exploring the practical challenges of such a ban to provide a more balanced or nuanced argument. Overall, it meets the requirements of the task well enough to be considered a solid attempt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'In other words', and 'For instance' are used to link ideas. However, there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing or mechanical errors, such as 'This mainly beacuse it is not only cause unbearable disease'. The referencing is generally clear, but the progression of ideas within paragraphs occasionally feels repetitive or slightly disjointed due to grammatical slips. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, two body paragraphs, and the conclusion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts to use topic-specific terms like 'passive smokers', 'financial strain', and 'allocate'. However, there are frequent spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'harmfull', 'beacuse', 'realated', 'larage', 'citzen', 'dirctly', 'pregnenyt', and 'imporove'. These errors are noticeable and detract from the overall quality of the writing. While the student attempts to use a range of vocabulary, the high frequency of spelling mistakes and some awkward collocations (e.g., 'smoking-realted treatments') limit the score. The range is sufficient to convey the message, but precision is lacking.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Examples include 'This mainly beacuse it is not only cause unbearable disease' (incorrect verb form) and 'government are force to allocate' (subject-verb agreement). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are missing articles and awkward phrasing throughout. While the student attempts complex structures, the high density of errors in basic grammar—such as verb tense and subject-verb agreement—prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. The meaning is usually clear, but the reader must work to interpret some sentences.

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