Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I agree that smoking should be made illegal in countries due to the harm that it causes to the citizen of the country.

Firstly,the death rate has increased,everyone knows about the risk that smoking has to someones health, and even these companies producing these cigas put a label warning for their consumers to know how dangerous smoking is to their health but they ignore these warns and continues to smoke and these damages their lungs and other body parts and when there is no money to take care of them during their sick period most of these people die. Even those who do not smoke,their health gets affected by these smokes from the cigarettes and affects their healths and they get put in the hosiptal hoping to get better but most times ,they lost their lives. For instance,in my homecountry Nigeria,we do no have cold weather that needs for the citizens to smoke but they still smoke and they know them smoking is dangerous for them.And most of them due to the poverty in the country they do not have access to hospitals,so when they get sick,there is way for treatment so most of them die.

Secondly,Debts,when these smokers are sick with this illness and the family have spent their savings on trying to save their loved one and they do not have any savings again and they still need money for treatment for their loved one,they will go to loan sharks,banks ,sell their properties and so on just to pay for the treament of their loved one .And when the one loved one dies that the dreatments does not save them.

The family has incurred a debt they have to pay back, if they do not pay it back,the loan sharks ,banks and other places they borrowed the money from will come after them and their properties and sometimes leaving the family helpless and hopeless.

In Conclusion, I do agree that smoking should be banned or made illegal in countries,there should be punishment for anyone caught such as jail time or a fine or a community service for few days. With these laws there will be balance in the country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position in favor of banning smoking. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. While you mention health risks and financial burdens, the arguments are presented in a circular manner, particularly in the second paragraph regarding debt. To reach a higher band, you should focus on developing distinct, well-supported arguments rather than repeating the same point about death and poverty. The conclusion introduces a new idea about specific punishments (jail time, fines), which is a good attempt at extending the argument, but the overall structure remains somewhat simplistic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between and within them is often mechanical. You rely heavily on simple conjunctions and lack a variety of cohesive devices. For example, the second paragraph is essentially one long, run-on sentence that makes it difficult for the reader to follow the logical progression of your argument. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between the health impact and the financial impact could be smoother. Using more sophisticated linking words like 'consequently,' 'furthermore,' or 'in addition to this' would significantly improve the logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You use basic terms like 'cigas' (which is informal/slang) and 'sick period.' There is also some repetition of words such as 'health,' 'money,' and 'treatment.' To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and topic-specific vocabulary related to public health and legislation. For instance, instead of 'sick period,' use 'prolonged illness' or 'chronic health conditions.' Additionally, ensure you use formal language throughout, avoiding informal abbreviations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are significant issues with punctuation, particularly the lack of spaces after commas and the use of run-on sentences. Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent (e.g., 'they ignores these warns'). You rely mostly on simple sentence structures, and your attempts at complex sentences often result in grammatical errors, such as the long, fragmented sentences in the second paragraph. Focusing on sentence boundaries and basic punctuation rules will help improve your score significantly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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