Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the contemporary era, it has often been claimed that smoking should be banned owing to its detrimental effects on the overall health of people. I completely agree with the statement because smoking not only affects the smokers, but it also impacts their family members and co-workers.

To begin with, there are several reasons why smoking should be made illegal. The primary reason is that they create a significant burden on healthcare because of the serious illnesses such as lung cancer and heart disease. People who smoke such harmful products such as tobacco, they usually suffer from such diseases. As a result, they need to be hospitalised to treat their illness. If smoking will be banned, the number of people admitted in the hospital due to its harmful effects will decrease and the same resources can be used in treating other patients.

Consequently, making smoking illegal can reduce the stress on healthcare.

Furthermore, smoking not only harms the smokers, but it also affects the people around them such as family members or colleagues. This is because people near them also breathe second hand smoke directly into their body. For instance, a person smoking in a house, where children are present. As a result, the children will also be exposed to the smoke and its harmful effects. Therefore, the authorities should make smoking illegal to protect non-smokers.

In conclusion, imposing a ban on smoking can have various advantages to society, it will reduce the burden on the medical staff. Additionally, it will protect the individuals who do not smoke.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have provided relevant reasons for your agreement, such as the burden on healthcare and the impact of second-hand smoke on others. The ideas are extended with examples, such as the mention of children being exposed to smoke. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are more fully developed; for instance, you could discuss the economic implications of a ban or the potential counter-arguments to provide a more balanced and sophisticated perspective. Overall, the response is well-focused and directly answers the question.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'Consequently' to guide the reader through your arguments. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the paragraphing could be improved by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea. The referencing is generally clear, though some sentences could be linked more fluidly to improve the overall flow of the text. The progression of ideas is logical and easy to follow throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'detrimental effects', 'hospitalised', and 'second hand smoke'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, there is a lack of less common or more sophisticated lexical items that would elevate the response to a higher band. Some word choices are repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'harmful' and 'illegal'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations and varied synonyms to express your ideas with greater nuance and academic tone.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur, such as 'If smoking will be banned' (should be 'If smoking is banned') and 'people admitted in the hospital' (should be 'to the hospital'). Additionally, there are some minor punctuation and phrasing issues, such as the sentence fragment 'For instance, a person smoking in a house, where children are present.' Despite these errors, they do not impede communication. Increasing the variety of complex structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement will help improve your score.

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