Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is undeniable that people are smoking more than ever before. Some people argue that smoking should be banned because it is causing serious illnesses. I completely agree with this notion and I will explain my reasons behind it in upcoming paragraphs.

To begin with, there are numerous reasons why smoking should be made illegal. The first and foremost reason is that smoking is one of the main factors responsible for diseases like cancer, lung problems and heart diseases. Moreover, movies and television series are inspiring the young generations to smoke as it would make them cool and attractive. As a result, the number of smokers is increasing day by day. In fact, smoking is not only harming the smoker but also other people nearby as well. Hence, Passive smoking is causing so much problems than we realize.

Apart from that, treating smoke-related illnesses burdens healthcare systems and tax payers. In another word, numerous people are addictive to the smoking and treating them has become a hectic job for the health professionals. The government is also spending lots of fund into treatment. However, few people argue that banning smoking will not solve the problem as people will move to other addictive activities like alcohol or other drugs. In addition, banning smoking may backfire because it could create black market, unsafe products or organized crime.

To conclude, although there are some drawbacks of banning the smoking, I still believe that it should be made illegal because it is causing so much serious illnesses which is resulting into deaths.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have identified the health risks and the burden on the healthcare system as key arguments. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about movies influencing youth is mentioned but not fully linked to the argument for a total ban. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explored with more specific examples or logical consequences. The counter-argument is acknowledged, which adds balance, but the rebuttal could be more robust to strengthen your overall stance.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Moreover,' 'Apart from that,' and 'To conclude' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as in the sentence 'In another word, numerous people are addictive to the smoking.' The paragraphing is appropriate, and there is a clear progression of ideas, though the flow between the counter-argument and your final conclusion could be smoother to better emphasize your position.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'undeniable,' 'burden,' and 'healthcare systems.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'addictive to the smoking' (should be 'addicted to smoking'), 'spending lots of fund' (should be 'spending a lot of funds'), and 'causing so much problems' (should be 'causing so many problems'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your expression. To improve, focus on learning the correct prepositional phrases and pluralization rules for common academic nouns.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the smoking') and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'which is resulting into deaths' should be 'which results in deaths.' Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor slips throughout. The majority of your sentences are understandable, but the frequency of these small errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical consistency will significantly improve your score.

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