Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS General Essentials · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Smoking can cause serious illnesses and should be made illegal.

To what extent do you agree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this contemporary era using tobacco can effect living beings health. Therefore, government should make smoking against law. My inclination also falls in this viewpoint to great extent. This essay will articulate arguments points in forthcoming paragraphs.

To commence with their are plethora of drawbacks by doing smoking. First and foremost smoking can lead to numerous health issues. To explain it more, person who smokes they can not only have serious lungs problem but also heart problem. Consequently, taking these kind of drugs can cause death . For instance, In India 470 number of folks died in only one country due to illnesses which was caused by smoking. Secondly, this is not only effecting people who smoke but also who are living near to them. To be more precise, people who live with human who smoke they can also have breathing problems specially for small child. To conclude, smoking is dangerous for everyone who are taking breath in that air.

For solution government should make smoking illegal. To explain this, human beings will stop doing this automatically when it will be prohibited. As a result it will be so important as unemployment rate will get decline as many people not work due to their habit of taking drugs. For example, 50 percent of youth is not doing work as they are addicted to take drugs which decrease their power to think.

To sum up smoking have great demerits as it harms living being body. So, I am agree with this opinion to great extend.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position in favor of making smoking illegal. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. While you provide reasons such as health risks and the impact on bystanders, the supporting arguments are underdeveloped. For instance, the claim that unemployment would decline if smoking were banned is a weak and illogical argument that lacks a clear causal link. To improve, focus on providing more sophisticated, logical justifications for your position and ensure that all examples are relevant and clearly explained to fully support your central argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'To commence with their are' (should be 'there are') and 'To explain it more'. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the logical flow within paragraphs is hindered by grammatical errors. To reach a higher band, you should use a wider variety of linking words and phrases more naturally to connect your ideas, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that progresses the argument logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'bad', 'problems', and 'drugs' (when referring to tobacco). There are also noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'effect living beings health' (should be 'affect') and 'taking breath in that air'. To improve, you should aim to use a broader range of topic-specific vocabulary related to public health and legislation. Avoid repeating the same words and try to incorporate more precise academic collocations to express your ideas with greater clarity and sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('smoking have great demerits'), article usage, and sentence structure ('person who smokes they can not only have'). The range of structures is limited, with a reliance on simple sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that pronouns are used correctly. Increasing your use of complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses or conditional sentences, will also help demonstrate a higher level of grammatical control.

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